Is Road Serpents Still In Business?

blykins · #1 (**permalink**) 01-02-2004, 11:49 AM

Just browsing through past posts....wondering how Turk is doing on this endeavor....hehehehe

Turk · #2 (**permalink**) 01-02-2004, 12:11 PM

Absolutely.
Recently I had to resign from the post of Moderator, so that my position would not be in conflict with our operations.

We have purchased some vacant buildings in South Africa, and have moved some of our operations to that continent.

We plan on bringing some new product to the market place that will absolutely turn the Cobra market upside down, like our company has beeen last year.

2003 was not a good year for us. We lost a lot of employees to the competition. Some went to work for the Airport Security, some took positions at Never Land.

We are in the process of recruiting new staff, and will be back up and operating in no time.
We first went looking hot a new receptionist. We wanted someone who looked good.
We couldn't find anyone who looked good enough and spoke English. Labor pool has been rather thin here. Currently we are having our phones answered out of India on a contractual basis.

Pretty soon we will have someone who speaks English in that position.

If you know anyone who wouldn't mind relocating, wearing a mini skirt and built like one of them Hooter Girls, please let them know about us. Prefer British Accent. That always sounds so classy!

TURK

Jamo · #3 (**permalink**) 01-02-2004, 12:16 PM

Buckley.

blykins · #4 (**permalink**) 01-02-2004, 12:17 PM

Where could I arrange a test drive? I read somewhere that the RS was offered with a hipo Briggs & Stratton engine mated to a centrifugal clutch setup....is that still an option?

weekendwarrior · #5 (**permalink**) 01-02-2004, 01:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by blykins

Just browsing through past posts....wondering how Turk is doing on this endeavor....hehehehe

I heard they were going to use a Duramax Engine and a Allison 5 Speed

GOCATS · #6 (**permalink**) 01-02-2004, 01:09 PM

Turk

I hear Jessica Hahn is looking for a "new postion. "

I thinking she might have the qualifications you are looking for. She even has the experience in dealing with foreign countries and officials. Sorry I don't have her phone #

J.A. Koontz

blykins · #7 (**permalink**) 01-02-2004, 01:14 PM

Hey Gocats...

I'll be in Louisville next Friday...if you think you would be available then....

mrmustang · #8 (**permalink**) 01-02-2004, 02:39 PM

Does this mean I'll finally get my 289FIA Road Serpent

...............

Bill S.

Gordon Claunch · #9 (**permalink**) 01-02-2004, 02:45 PM

Be careful when dealing with Road serpents, they were running a $39,995.00 special like Shelby and Kirham, I sent them payment in full and never heard back from them, I heard from a pal in Fresno, that my money went for cigarettes, a new Harley and some ungodly smog test for a sissy german car that Roadserpents CEO got "stuck" with from some witchdoctor in Ohio!!!

computerworks · #10 (**permalink**) 01-02-2004, 02:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mrmustang

Does this mean I'll finally get my 289FIA Road Serpent ...............

..fat chance.

Just like other companies, they have back-burnered the 289 car.
...got pushed aside for their new project:

A supercar based on the Fiberfab Aztec molds RS bought a while ago.

southernfriedcj · #11 (**permalink**) 01-02-2004, 02:49 PM

Phuck RSI! They shipped my car(RSI3024) back to Bosnia to get the brakes bled. It took 18 months and the pedal is still spongy!

Not to mention, the seats suck! The leather is so slick you slide out from behind the wheel. Those seats are dangerous. I had to go back to Fiberfab International(RSI's frame & body purveyor) and get some quality hides to recover the seats. I wish I didn't pay the $7.95 markup for the RSI #.

Yours in Bosnian Originals, RSI300?

edit: First Ron then Jim Maxwell, I didn't see the CSX7000 brake post before my post. I'ts getting hard to post original content around here. I don't want to be banned for plagiarism.

southernfriedcj · #12 (**permalink**) 01-02-2004, 02:50 PM

Hey Ron, I was using the Fiberfab reference first! It just took me about 10 minutes to type my post.

PatBuckley · #13 (**permalink**) 01-02-2004, 04:42 PM

I'll do it.

Could you please detail what my responsibilities are?

Is the mini-skirt thing a deal breaker?

GOCATS · #14 (**permalink**) 01-04-2004, 08:59 PM

blykins:

Friday is fine just give me call or email me to let me know what time you'll be in town.

Turk · #15 (**permalink**) 01-05-2004, 01:30 AM

Folks,
Please take personal messaging out of this thread.
Where the hell are the moderators when you need them?

If you want to signal one another try smoke signals. Don't do it here.

I also have a thing or two to say about the the owner of this joint. We sent him a check for Banner Advertising, and he won't run the ad. Something about insufficent Funds.

Big deal. he does have a real job,it is not like he needs the money. So what if the check didn't clear?

A 289 car is indeed in the back burner. The cars you bought from us, during the last 12 months are under warranty. Please don't call us, we just don't have the manpower to handle recalls, upgrades, and repairs.

We are a manufacturer, not a Texaco Station.

Find yourself a sympathatic manufacturer, get on Club Cobra whine and whine, tell them how screwed up we are, eventually someone is going to get tired of your crap and offer to fix the RS series cars at their expense.

Peter at ERA maybe a good resource. Tell them Jamo sent you!

Whatever you do, don't bother us with warranty related issues. We have work to do.

Will accept applications for the secretary position sight unseen. Send resume (screw the resume) send a photo, and we'll get back to you.

We have been contracted by British Space Department, and will not be available for any calls during thenext two weeks. We are going after the missing probe. They paid us handsomely for this project, and we plan on giving them an honest 3 hours work everyday.

In case you didn't know we do work for other foreign governments. Cobras are not our only business. We are diverse and terse.

TURK
Space Divison
We are out THERE......

mrmustang · #16 (**permalink**) 01-05-2004, 05:40 AM

Excuse me, when can I put down a deposit on the new Road Serpent Personal Space Shuttle,I have seen the new prototype, and was wondering if can I convert my payment on the 289FIA to the new Space Shuttle, as I would like to get serial #1. Please contact me ASAP so that we can work out the details.

Bill S.

Mark IV · #17 (**permalink**) 01-05-2004, 06:25 AM

..I know what your plan is...take delivery of the personal shuttle and then collect the "X" prize for low orbit space travel....VIOLA!! The prize amount excceds the cost of the RSI POS and you are money ahead. Oh, wait, that assumes that the shuttle will not perform like every other RSI product, i.e. ACTUALLY WORK!!!!!!!

Rather than engineer for the the "Ivory Soap Quality level" i.e. 99 and 44/100s reliability, RSI works on the "almost as good as Yugo" program. There are stories told of a legendary RSI car that even started TWICE!

Remember their advertising line "Road Serpents, the best Harbor Freight can build...."

I am still getting nasty letters from lawyers/barristers/soliciters due to my attemped hostile takeover of RSI. They all think I was sucessful and want restitution for all of their clients and money for "pain and suffering cuased by ownership of any RSI product".

Rick