cobra options for idiots

[vettestr]

Tonight I was cut off BAD then the car cruised in front of me at 15 MPH below the posted speed, then just sat in the left turn lane without moving through the green arrow, then pulled into the intersection at very end of yellow leaving me to wait for next light. Cars now moving with their green were honking until this idiot completed the turn and drove off in the fast lane driving VERY slowly !!!
I want to build a car with about a 15 foot hydraulic ram that can skewer cars that pull in front of you. This ram will shishkabobing the car and then flick it over the top of my car to the side of the road like a booger off your finger. My new car will also have extending wheel center hubs like in Ben Hur that will shred the tires of cars drifting into your lane and the phone in drivers hand will explode driving shards into the ear of offending drivers. Ram can also be used to push cars just sitting at green lights without moving. Optional tassers mounted under my brake lights will send 249.3 thousand volts into any car following closer then 1 car length if above 45 MPH and a button on dash to activate feature just for ****s and grins. If any person is applying make-up while driving a sensor will find them and make their lips explode.
What else should I add to this new design?

[LwCwb]

laser targeting auto firing rifle capable of splitting an engine block in two. Oh yea, and a few of those rocket launchers james bond uses in the car chases. and BIG tires so you can just roll over stuff.

[Ron61]

An Abrams tank with a Cobra body.

Ron

[trularin]

A device that detects a bass thumping, window rattling, sound system in a car and sends a 300 KV change through the car body and distroy the stereo and amp.

A device that detects when the car behind you, I mean right behind you, so close you can not see it's head lights in the rear view mirrors behind you, is too close and drops 4" spike jacks to take out the car's tires.

A device that detects when some person leans or sits on the fender of your car and sends a hefty 300kV bolt of lightning through their a$$. And, it does not leave a mark on the paint.

A device that detects when some person leans on the door and starts eyeballing the interior and blinds them with a brillent flash of light.

Don't get me started.

[vettestr]

LwCwb = laser is great
Ron = tank body is cool but not very aerodynamic, invisable armor?
trularin = right on with these but has to be 249.3KV... copyrighted already ya know BUT sitting or leaning on car is an instant hanging offense. Did I get you started ? I really like the exploding lips and exploding phone in the ear thing myself.

[rbray]

This sounds like a project for Monster Garage!

[LwCwb]

It would be called the hillbillyization of an unsuspecting Cobra

[lovehamr]

Sounds like a job for Trunk Monkey! If you havn't seen any of these you have to look them up. If someone could tell me how, I'll post a couple here. They're great.

[clayfoushee]

http://www.sillyhumor.com/trunkmonkey/

[Jack21]

Actually, there is a real answer to your question. Rent a truck, a big one. 20' straight job, preferably with a rear lift gate. Big ol' diesel job.

Take out all the extra insurance.

My son-in-law once asked me a question about right-of-way in driving situations. "Well son", I said, "The guy with the biggest, oldest, or most dented up car always has the right-of-way!"

Obviously, you don't want to try this in a Cobra.

[Edley Rondinone]

How about a device that sends an e-mail to the proper authority, in order to have another person's vehicle brought in to the proper authority and checked for lights, brakes, bumper height, too-loud stereo, bald tires.......of course, this would NOT work on Cobras!

[trularin]

I always wanted to have a cement truck... loaded with a full 9.5 yards of wet concrete. When some joker does one of those, "stick the nose out and make a hole to cut in" tricks, I simply wouldn't stop and let that 3/8" steel plate bumper tear the front from the car. Or when little miss phone-in-the-ear, forgets she's driving a car and weaves into my lane to get crushed by that 40" tire.

We used to have the cement truck pull out the bull dozer when it got stuck in the mud. I am not sure there is too much that would stop the truck.

[Ron61]

Tru,

And don't forget the best use for the tail gaters. Just dump the cement on them. Even better if they are in a roadster or convertible. This per Tim allen in one of his shows on Home Improvements.

Ron

[trularin]

Excellent Ron!!!!!

[LwCwb]

The wetter it is the faster it flows!

[John A. Simpson]

You've got to have some way to take out Bright lights for the dimwit who won't dim, Oh and don't forget to zap those 'fog' lites that people run all the time to further blind oncoming traffic.

[BMK]

I promise I'll be careful when I'm on the roads over there. You guys are so un forgiving..

Bernie

[MetaJacko]

Originally posted by John A. Simpson


You've got to have some way to take out Bright lights for the dimwit who won't dim, Oh and don't forget to zap those 'fog' lites that people run all the time to further blind oncoming traffic.

When my dad was younger (before I was around!) He used to have two high strength spotlights on his Triumph.
When asked why they were fitted and more importantly, why they were not pointing at the road but angled slightly up. He just told people that he turned them on at night when he was getting dazzled by passing car drivers
Maybe something like that might help

Paul

[LwCwb]

Originally posted by trularin


A device that detects a bass thumping, window rattling, sound system in a car and sends a 300 KV change through the car body and distroy the stereo and amp.

The only reason those ricer cars have that kind of sound system is to cover up the terrible sound of their exhaust.