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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 08-01-2011, 11:37 AM
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Default Cleaning guns when the doorbell rings

So, it has been a little over 20 years since this happened. My wife and I were living in a ranch style house that was the guest house for the farm next door.

Every year there is a day I set aside where I clean and oil all of my firearms.

And, to keep track, I line the uncleaned ones on one wall and the oiled and cleaned one on another.

I was in the middle of the mission when the doorbell rang. Not thinking more about it, I answered it. There stood a young man and girl wishing to discuss the word of God and, in a sort of pushy way invited themselves in.

I smiled and begged them to join me in the kitchen. They made it to the kitchen table and saw a disassembled 12 guage. Against the wall were an assortment of armament.

I offered them a glass of cold water and sat down getting back to the mission.

The young girl was speachless, but the young man formulated a question much along the lines of, "so what do you do?"

"Oh hey, I am a government assasine." I replied with a completely straight face.

The jaw of the girl fell to the ground and she began to quiver. The young man's eyes were as large as goose eggs. I continued to work on the 12 guage.

There was a pause of several minutes before the young man asked if the work was steady. I looked up and nodded that is was.

By then the girl was pulling on the young man's shoulder to leave. I bid them farwell and went back to my table. Looking out the front window, I think they both were trying to beat the world land speed record.

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Old 08-01-2011, 11:51 AM
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Heh heh - priceless!
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Old 08-01-2011, 02:24 PM
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No doubt they quickly passed the word among fellow bible thumpers and I bet you haven't had any more unsolicited visits?
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Old 08-01-2011, 08:23 PM
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My usual reply to the religious people who come to my door is this. I'll spend five minutes listening to you tell me about your religious beliefs if you'll spend five minutes listening to me tell you about mine. So far no one has taken my offer. They're more about telling than discussing.
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Old 08-02-2011, 06:06 AM
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Yep Tru I can see you doing that.

I've forgotten I had my Colt 1911 on my hip a few times when I've answered the front door.
Their reactions do remind me .
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Old 08-02-2011, 09:13 AM
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Cool

I am a believer, but I sure get a kick out of some of them that come to the door.

A few weeks ago two came to the door wanting me to join their church. I told them I was already a member of our own church and I was very happy there and thanked them for the offer.

They continued to talk. They told me that the Messiah was alive and living in human form today.

I asked with baited breath, "In human form you say? Where is He living right now and why isn't He here with you speaking the word?"

They said, "He is currently living in Albuquerque, and he is not feeling well right now"

I said, "I was surprised He is in Albuquerque" and thanked them again and closed the door.

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Old 08-02-2011, 06:05 PM
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This is exactly how I am going to introduce myself to my daughters (they are 7 and 8 now) boyfriends in the future...
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Old 08-03-2011, 10:45 AM
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LOL,
I told our daughter when she goes out we are going to get our son to lay down on the porch and I will draw a chalkline around him. When our daughters 'date' comes he will ask "what is that" ..."uuhum, the last one didn't walk her back to the door when he brought her home"

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Old 08-04-2011, 05:33 AM
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Steve, I can see you doing that.

When I took my bride 31 years ago, I mentioned that we were not having any daughters. She chuckled and subsequently we had two sons.

She asked me why we were not having daughters, I replied I did not want to live out my my year in federal prison for murder. To which she chuckled again and propogated the conversation by asking me to go into details.

As it was, I simply said that when my daughter came to me with tears running down her cheeks and sobbing profusly said, "Daddy...<sob> Daddy... Freddie left me." I would have to handle the matter in the cleanest way I could at the time.

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Old 08-04-2011, 10:02 AM
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Tru,
Yea, raising daughters is a worrisome thing when they get dating age.

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Old 08-04-2011, 12:05 PM
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Or you could do what I did . Sat at the kitchen table cleaning my guns and just looking at the boy for a while before putting the magazine back in the .45 , setting it on the table and then going over to shake his hand .
Let`s just say , my daughters weren`t real happy with me .
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Old 08-04-2011, 02:54 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bobcat View Post
Or you could do what I did . Sat at the kitchen table cleaning my guns and just looking at the boy for a while before putting the magazine back in the .45 , setting it on the table and then going over to shake his hand .
Let`s just say , my daughters weren`t real happy with me .
One guy my daughter dated (only one date,thankfully) came to get her, he wasn't of the "best character" and she knew we didn't care for him,but,anyway, as girls are always late getting ready, he waited nervously and I said come see, got something to show you. We went to the spare room where my gun cabinet is, showed him the guns, then opened the closet door and showed him even more guns and pointed out the back window to the 75+ acre pasture and told him I had a couple of shovels in my workshop and if he made my daughter cry, they would likely never find his buried body in that pasture..........
Thankfully my daughter only had one date with him, she said he was a "total jerk".

David
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Old 08-04-2011, 08:21 PM
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So, are you guys saying we fathers of boys should have threatened their girl friends with bodily harm if they didn't make our sons happy?
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Old 08-04-2011, 09:35 PM
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So, are you guys saying we fathers of boys should have threatened their girl friends with bodily harm if they didn't make our sons happy?
The reason I treated my daughters dates the way I did, is I still remember what I did at that age!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

David
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