Joke of the Day...

[Turk]

So much for all the purists that keep on questioning every other thread about their relevance to Cobras.

If I hear "What does that have to do with Cobras?". or "in the beginning before all the riff raff showed up in here we used to talk abut Cobras, this place is going to toilet" etc. one more time, I'll throw up.

Current crowd shows the diversity of the group and their tastes, and their interests. Obviously we regard this place as a social gathering as well as a knowledgebase.

The threads that had the longest runs during the last year almost all have been subjects that had very little to do with the full intent of the forum. Yet, someone who does not like what they read, will eventually jump in and express their disdain for it. Amazing! Simply amazing.

TURK
just an spontenous editorial.

[ERA535]

I have a beauty but think it may result in me getting jailed.

Opinions?

[Turk]

I have one that even I CAN'T type in here.
I'll put it on CD and release under my own label!

TURK

[copper]

Now let me guess. What would Turks CD label be?
Should we offer up some suggestions?

CD name (like title) ...........

CD label ( Producer or Manufacturer)……..

[Dave Samson]

lucky we don't have any women reading this thread...
ah it's probably beyond their technical competence anyway.

[Dave Samson]

A redneck family from the hills was visiting the city
and they were in a mall for the first time in their life.
The father and son were strolling around while the wife shopped.
They were amazed by almost everything they saw,
but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart
and then slide back together again.
The boy asked, "Paw, What's 'at?"
The father (never having seen an elevator) responded,
"Son, I dunno. I ain't never seen nothing like that
in my entire life, I ain't got no idear what it is."
While the boy and his father were watching with amazement,
a fat old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls
and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled
between them into a small room.
The walls closed and the boy and his father watched the small
circular 20 numbers above the walls light up sequentially.
They continued to watch until it reached the last number
and then the numbers began to light in the reverse order.
Then the walls opened up again and a gorgeous, voluptuous
24-year-old blonde woman stepped out.
The father, not taking his eye off the young woman,
said quietly to his son,
"Boy, go git yo Momma.... "

[ERA535]

I heard that Dora tries to read it.

[CobraDan]

1. Sag, You're It!
2. Pin the Toupee on the Bald Guy

3. 20 Questions Shouted into your Good Ear

4. Kick the Bucket.

5. Red Rover, Red Rover, the Nurse Says Bend Over

6. Doc, Doc Goose

7. Simon Says Something Incoherent

8. Hide and Go Pee

9. Spin the Bottle of Mylanta

10. Musical Recliners

This is for my older friends on the forum, I use to only have to compete with Dan Semko but everyone has joined in.
Dan

[CobraDan]

Hospital Doctors

When some doctors were asked to contribute to the construction of a new wing at the hospital.....

The allergists voted to scratch it.

The anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas.

The cardiologists didn't have the heart to say no.

The dermatologists preferred no rash moves.

The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling about it.

The internists thought it was a hard pill to swallow.

The microsurgeons were thinking along the same vein.

The neurologists thought the administration "had a lot of nerve".

The obstetricians stated they were laboring under a misconception.

The ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

The orthopedists issued a joint resolution.

The otologists were deaf to the idea.

The parasitologists said, "Well, if you encyst."

The pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!".

The pediatricians said, "Grow up!"

The plastic surgeons said, "This puts a whole new face on the matter."

The podiatrists thought it was a big step forward.

The proctologists said, "We are in arrears."

The psychiatrists thought it was madness.

The radiologists could see right through it.

The surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing.

The urologists felt the scheme wouldn't hold water.

[CobraEd]

HOW DO YOU KNOW IF A REDNECK IS MARRIED?

His pickup truck will have chewing tobacco stains down the sides of BOTH doors!!

[CobraDan]

At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, "No."
A clerk came over and asked, "May I help you?"
"I don't know," said the woman.
"Do you have any 'Sorry I laughed at your dick' cards?"

This one could be for a lot of our members.

[Flyin_Freddie]

..but I think we may have to ban you from this thread, too....

But, Hey...look, this is the 'Joke of The Day', right? It's posted in the Lounge, as Obergrupenfuehrer Der Brenster asked...you don't have to read it if you find anything objectionable...and indeed, there is some Cobra related material in here...well, somewhere I'm pretty sure.

If we offend you, we're not sorry...other than to say that nowhere does it say anyone has the right to be not offended. If you don't like what you read, simply don't read any further. After all, ClubCobra doesn't force this thread, or any other for that matter, to pop up on your screen unannounced and unexpected. You have to make a concious effort to come to this thread and read all - what it is now? - 11 pages of drivel before you realize you're offended. Hey! If it took THAT long to offend someone, then they must have been pleadin' for it.

Turk...POST AWAY, my good man. Let the Forum be the judge....just obliterate some of the letters of the words that may offend, while leaving enough to get your message across. We'll understand, and you can always delete it if it's too bad...but, hell, read the one about 'Felching'...ewwwwww!

There....editorial over. This is after all the Lounge, so let's ge back to 'lounging'....

We can talk Cobras on the other forums...okay?

[Flyin_Freddie]

But, let's make sure! Since I'm a card carryin' son of the son of a Southern genteelman, I offer the following:

What's the definition of "Redneck Foreplay"?

"Get'n the truck, B!tch..."

[CobraEd]

I don't believe that Brent has any problem with some jokes for everyone to enjoy. It was the childish self serving judgemental whining, chestbeating and me, me , me attitudes that got old and caused the consternation. Sharing some jokes is fun and something to look forward to.

[CobraEd]

You might be a readneck if your wife says:

C'mhere an move this transmission so's I kin take a bath!




Ed

[Cindy Brown]

An elderly lady boards a flight to Washington D.C.. The plane takes off headed towards Washington when all of a sudden theirs a terrible commotion. The flight crew jumps the old lady, ties her up and sits her up front where the crew can keep and eye on her until the plane lands and they can turn her over to the proper authoritys. As the passengers were exiting the plane someone asked...Why did the flight crew hand cuff this little old lady?? The flight attendant replys... She was knitting an Afgan!!!

[CobraDan]

Your e-mail address ends in ".over.yonder.com."

You connect to the World Wide Web via a "Down Home Page."

The bumper sticker on your truck says "My other computer is a notebook."

Your notebook has a sticker that says "Protected by Smith and Wesson."

You've ever doubled the value of your truck by installing a cellular phone.

Your baseball cap reads "Apple" instead of "CAT."

Your computer is worth more than all your trucks combined.

Your wife said "either she or the computer had to go", and you still don't miss her.

You've ever used a CD-ROM as a coaster to set your beer on.

You ever refer to your computer as "Ole Bessy."

Your screen saver is a bitmap image of your favorite truck, tractor, or farm animal.

You start all your e-mails with the words "Howdy y'all."

[CobraEd]

A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces
height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and
shouts, "Excuse me, can you tell me where I am?" The man below says, "Yes,
you're in a hot air balloon, hovering 30 feet above this field."

"You must be an engineer," says the balloonist. "I am," replies the man.
"How did you know?" "Well," says the balloonist, "everything you have told
me is technically correct, but it's of no use to anyone."

The man below says, "You must be in sales." "I am," replies the
balloonist, "but how did you know?" "Well," says the man, "you don't know
where you are, or where you're going, but you expect me to be able to help.
You're in the same position you were before we met, but now it's my fault."

[Jamo]

After her doctor prescribed testosterone, a woman went for a follow-up visit and told the doctor that she was worried about some of the side effects she had been experiencing. "Doctor, the hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm afraid you've been giving me too much. I've started growing hair in places I've never grown hair before."

The doctor reassured her. "A liitle hair growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has it appeared?"

"On my balls," she answered. "Which reminds me of something else I need to talk to you about."

[Dave Samson]

REASONS TO LIVE WITH A DOG INSTEAD OF A WOMAN


Dogs love it when your friends come over.
Dogs don't expect you to call when you're running late.
The later you are, the more excited they are to see you.
Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs.
Dogs don't mind if you give their offspring away.
Dogs like it when you leave lots of things on the floor.
A Dog's parents never visit.
Dogs understand that instincts are better than asking directions.
Dogs don't hate their bodies.
No dog ever bought a Ricky Martin album.
Dogs never criticize.
Dogs agree that you have to raise you voice to get your point across.
Dogs would rather have hamburger than lobster for dinner.
You never have to wait for a dog. They're ready to go 24 hours a day.
Dogs find you amusing when you've had too much to drink.
Dog's don't mind a good fart.