Joke of the Day...

[CobraDan]

A little child in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed the
offering plates. When they neared the pew where he sat, the youngster piped
up so that everyone could hear: "Don't pay for me Daddy, I'm under five."
A little boy was attending his first wedding. After the service, his cousin
asked him, "How many women can a man marry?" "Sixteen," the boy responded.
His cousin was amazed that he had an answer so quickly. "How do you know
that?" "Easy," the little boy said. "All you have to do is add it up, like
the Bishop said: 4 better, 4 worse, 4 richer, 4 poorer."
After a church service on Sunday morning, a young boy suddenly announced to
his mother, "Mom, I've decided to become a minister when I grow up." "That's
okay with us, but what made you decide that?" "Well," said the little boy,
"I have to go to church on Sunday anyway, and I figure it will be more fun
to stand up and yell, than to sit and listen."

A 6-year-old was overheard reciting the Lord's Prayer at a church service:
"And forgive us our trash passes, as we forgive those who passed trash
against us."

A boy was watching his father, a pastor, write a sermon." How do you know
what to say?" he asked. "Why, God tells me." "Oh, then why do you keep
crossing things out?"

A little girl became restless as the preacher's sermon dragged on and on.
Finally, she leaned over to her mother and whispered, "Mommy, if we give him
the money now, will he let us go?"

After the christening of his baby brother in church, little Johnny sobbed
all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three
times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That priest said he wanted
us brought up in a Christian home, and I want to stay with you guys!

Terri asked her Sunday School class to draw pictures of their favorite Bible
stories. She was puzzled by Kyle's picture, which showed four people on an
airplane, so she asked him which story it was meant to represent. "The
flight to Egypt," said Kyle. "I see ... And that must be Mary, Joseph, and
Baby Jesus," Ms. Terri said. "But who's the fourth person?" "Oh, that's
Pontius - the Pilot.

The Sunday School Teacher asks, "Now, Johnny, tell me frankly do you say
prayers before eating?" "No sir," little Johnny replies, "I don't have to.
My Mom is a good cook."

A college drama group presented a play in which one character would stand on
a trap door and announce, "I descend into hell!" A stagehand below would
then pull a rope, the trapdoor would open, and the character would plunge
through. The play was well received. When the actor playing the part became
ill, another actor who was quite overweight took his place. When the new
actor announced, "I descend into hell!" the stagehand pulled the rope, and
the actor began his plunge, but became hopelessly stuck. No amount of
tugging on the rope could make him descend. One student in the balcony
jumped up and yelled: "Hallelujah! Hell is full!"

Pastor Dave Charlton tells us, "After a worship service at First Baptist
Church in Newcastle, Kentucky, a mother with a fidgety seven-year old boy
told me how she finally got her son to sit still and be quiet. About halfway
through the sermon, she leaned over and whispered, 'If you don't be quiet,
Pastor Charlton is going to lose his place and will have to start his sermon
all over again!' It worked."

A little girl was sitting on her grandfather's lap as he read her a bedtime
story. From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up
to touch his wrinkled cheek. She was alternately stroking her own cheek,
then his again. Finally she spoke up, "Grandpa, did God make you?"
"Yes, sweetheart," he answered, "God made me a long time ago." "Oh," she
paused, "Grandpa, did God make me too?" "Yes, indeed, honey," he said, "God
made you just a little while ago." Feeling their respective faces again, she
observed, "God's getting better at it, isn't he?"