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05-26-2002, 12:13 PM
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CC Member
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Join Date: Dec 2000
Location: 2555 west bluff fresno, ca.,usa,
ca
Cobra Make, Engine: ERA535 with 427FE s.o.& toploader
Posts: 2,494
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Not Ranked
A man had been in a terrible car accident,
and woke up in the hospital. Looking around,
he noticed a doctor leaning over his bed.
"Jesus doc," the man exclaimed,
"what happened. Where am I."
The doctor replied "You have been in a bad car
accident, and you're in the hospital, but
don't worry, you're going to be all right.
The bad news is that we had to amputate your
right arm, above the elbow."
"Oh no," the man screamed. "I'd rather be dead.
I can't go through life without my arm.
Please doc, kill me. I can't go on like
this........"
"Now son," said the doctor, "with the miracles
of modern medicine today, we can give you a
Bionic Arm. Only costs one million dollars,
and it looks and works just like the real thing.
Nobody will ever know it's not your own arm."
"Yeah, great," the man groaned. "And where the
hell am I gonna get a million bucks.
I'm better off dead."
"Hang on now," said the doctor. "We've been
looking for a case like yours for a while now.
We just came up with a new arm. For only ten
thousand dollars, you can have it. It looks
just like the more expensive one, but the only
difference is that this one has a small
microphone built into it, and you have to TELL
the arm what to do.
Other than that, it works just like the other one."
"Well," the guy says, "I can probably afford
ten grand. Go ahead, sew it on."
The next day, the guy woke up in the same
bed, and saw the doctor leaning over him again.
"Well, doc, how did it go? Is everything all
right?"
"We think that the operation was a success,"
replied the surgeon, "but you will have to try
it out, and let us know if there are any problems
with it."
Later on in the day, the guy was lying in bed,
practicing with his new arm. "Lift up," he
commanded. The arm lifted up. "Move right."
The arm moved to the right. "Move left."
The arm moved to the left.
Everything seemed to be working without a
hitch, and he was really pleased. All of a
sudden, he had the urge to go to the bathroom.
He hopped out of bed, and proceeded into the john.
"Arm, reach down and undo my zipper." The arm
obeyed. "Take out my Wang." The arm obeyed
flawlessly. The guy had his leak, and when he
was done, he commanded, "Shake it." The arm gave
it a little shake. "No, shake it harder!" The
arm gave it a good shake. "Hey," the guy said,
"that feels pretty good......jerk it off."
(Ouch....) 
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