Joke of the Day...

[Hotfingrs]

>
> >ENGLISH WELL SPEECHED HERE
> >The sign in a Norwegian lounge reads:
> >LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR
> >Tacked on the door of a Moscow hotel room:
> >IF THIS IS YOUR FIRST VISIT TO THE U.S.S.R., YOU ARE WELCOME TO IT.
> >
> >An airline ticket office in Copenhagen reminds you:
> >WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.
> >In a certain African hotel you may choose between:
> >A ROOM WITH A VIEW ON THE SEA OR THE BACKSIDE OF THE COUNTRY
> >A sign on a clothing store in Brussels read:
> >COME INSIDE AND HAVE A FIT
> >A hotel notice in Madrid informs:
> >IF YOU WISH DISINFECTION ENACTED IN YOUR PRESENCE, PLEASE CRY OUT FOR THE
> >CHAMBERMAID
> >
> >This notice was posted on a Rumanian hotel elevator:
> >THE LIFT IS BEING FIXED FOR THE NEXT DAYS. DURING THAT TIME WE REGRET THAT
> >YOU WILL BE UNBEARABLE.
> >
> >The room service in a Lisbon hotel tells you:
> >IF YOU WISH FOR BREAKFAST, LIFT THE TELEPHONE AND ASK FOR ROOMSERVICE. THIS
> >WILL BE ENOUGH FOR YOU TO BRING YOUR FOOD UP
> >
> >This sign was posted in a Scottish harbor:
> >FOR SALE BOAT SINGLE OWNER GREEN IN COLOUR
> >
> >A sign at Budapest's zoo requests:
> >PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS. IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD GIVE IT TO
> >THE GUARD ON DUTY.
> >
> >A Polish hotel informs prospective visitors in a flyer:
> >AS FOR THE TROUT SERVED YOU AT THE HOTEL MONOPOL, YOU WILL BE SINGING ITS
> >PRAISE TO YOUR GRANDCHILDREN AS YOU LIE ON YOUR DEATHBED.
> >
> >A Seville tailor makes clear how he will handle commissions:
> >ORDER NOW YOUR SUMMER SUIT. BECAUSE IS BIG RUSH WE WILL EXECUTE CUSTOMERS IN
> >STRICT ROTATION
> >A dentist's doorway in Istanbul proclaims:
> >AMERICAN DENTIST, 2TH FLOOR. TEETH EXTRACTED BY LATEST METHODISTS.
> >
> >The concierge in a Sorrento hotel lets guests know he's on the job:
> >CONTACT THE CONCIERGE IMMEDIATELY FOR INFORMATIONS. PLEASE DON'T WAIT LAST
> >MINUTES THEN IT WILL BE TOO LATE TO ARRANGE ANY INCONVENIENCES.
> >
> >Some German hospitals now display the sign:
> >NO CHILDREN ALLOWED IN THE MATERNITY WARDS.
> >
> >The sign at the concierge's desk in an Athen's hotel reads"
> >IF YOU CONSIDER OUR HELP IMPOLITE, YOU SHOULD SEE THE MANAGER
> >A sign in a Kowloon hotel warns:
> >IS FORBIDDEN TO STEAL HOTEL TOWELS. PLEASE IF YOU ARE NOT PERSON TO DO SUCH
> >IS
> >PLEASE NOT TO READ NOTICE.
> >
> >Visitors in Czechoslovakia are invited by the tourist agency to:
> >TAKE ONE OF OUR HORSE-DRIVEN CITY TOURS - WE GUARANTEE NO MISCARRIAGES.
> >A Rome laundry suggests:
> >LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.
> >
> >A London eaterie advertised for help this way:
> >WANTED : MAN TO WASH DISHES AND TWO WAITRESSES
> >
> >A notice in a Vienna hotel urges:
> >IN CASE OF FIRE DO YOUR UTMOST TO ALARM THE HALL PORTER.
> >
> >