Joke of the Day...

[Hotfingrs]

>
> >It was Palm Sunday and, because of a sore throat, five-year-old Johnny
> >stayed home from church with a sitter. When the family returned home,
> >they were carrying several palm branches. The boy asked what they were
> >for. "People held them over Jesus' head as he walked by," his older
> >brother explained. "Wouldn't you know it," the boy fumed. "The one
> >Sunday I don't go, He showed up!"
> >
> >~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
> >
> >One Easter Sunday morning as the minister was preaching the children's
> >sermon, he reached into his bag of props and pulled out an egg. He
> >pointed at the egg and asked the children, "What's in here?"
> >"I know!" a little boy exclaimed. "Pantyhose!"
> >~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
> >
> >The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a
> >family?" The surprised groom-to-be replied, "Well, no. I was just
> >planning to support your daughter. The rest of you will have to fend for
> >yourselves."
> >
> >~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
> >
> >Little Johnny asked his grandpa how old he was. Grandpa answered, "39 and
> >holding." Johnny thought for a moment, and then said, "And how old would
> >you be if you let go?"
> >
> >A little boy in church for the first time watched as the ushers passed
> >around the offering plates.When they came near his pew, the boy said
> >loudly, "Don't pay for me Daddy. I'm under five."
> >
> >~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
> >
> >During my brother's wedding, my mother managed to keep from crying until
> >she glanced at my grandparents. My grandmother had reached over to my
> >grandfather's wheelchair and gently touched his hand. That was all it
> >took to start my mother's tears flowing. After the wedding, Mom went over
> >to my grandmother and told her how that tender gesture triggered her
> >outburst. "Well, I'm sorry to ruin your moment," Grandmother replied,
> >"but I was just checking to see if he was still alive."
> >~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
> >The Sunday School teacher asked, "Now, Johnny, tell me, do you say prayers
> >before eating?" "No sir," he replied, "We don't have to. My mom is a good
> >cook!"
> >~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
> >
> >"Oh, I sure am happy to see you," the little boy said to his grandmother
> >on his mother's side. "Now maybe Daddy will do the trick he has been
> >promising us." The grandmother was curious. "What trick is that?" she
> >asked. "I heard him tell Mommy," the little boy answered, "that he would
> >climb the walls if you came to visit."
> >