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  #6281 (permalink)  
Old 03-12-2008, 04:52 AM
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On Hillary,

Hillary Clinton said that her childhood dream was tobe an Olympic
athlete. But she was not athletic
enough. She said she wanted to be an astronaut, but at
the time they didn't take women. She said she wanted
to go into medicine, but hospitals made her woozy.
Should she be telling people this story? I mean she's
basically saying she wants to be president because she
can't do anything else."
--Jay Leno

"Well, the big story -- Hillary Clinton will be
running for president in 2008. You know why I think
she's running? I think she finally wants to see what
it's like to sleep in the president's bed."
Jay Leno

"Top Democrats have mixed feelings about Sen.Hillary
Clinton running for president. Apparently, some
Democrats don't like the idea, while others hate it."
--Conan O'Brien

"Former President Bill Clinton said that if his wife,
Hillary, is elected president, he will do whatever she
wants. You know Bill Clinton -- when he makes a vow
to Hillary, you can take that to the bank."
--Jay Leno

A student from the University of Washington has sold
his soul on eBay for $400. He's a law student, so he
probably doesn't need it, but still, that's not very
much. Today, Hillary Clinton said, 'Hey, at least I
got some furniture and a Senate seat for mine."
--Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton said today that she wants legislation
to allow all ex-felons to vote. See, this way all the
Clinton's former business partners can vote for her
in 2008."
--Jay Leno

Hillary Clinton's 506-page memoirs have come out.
So much of her personality shines through, that in
the end, you, too, will want to sleep with an intern."
-- Craig Kilborn

In Hillary Clinton's new book 'Living History,'
Hillary details what it was like meeting Bill Clinton,
falling in love with him, getting married, and living
a passionate, wonderful life as husband and wife.
Then on page two, the trouble starts."
-- Jay Leno

"In the book, she says when Bill told her he was
having an affair, she said "I could hardly breathe,
I was gulping for air.
..No, I'm sorry, that's what Monica said."


-- David Letterman

"Hillary Clinton, our junior senator from New York,
announced that she has no intentions of ever, ever
running for office of the President of the United States. Her
husband, Bill Clinton, is bitterly disappointed. He is
crushed. There go his dreams of becoming a two-impeachment
family."
-- David Let terman

"Last night, Senator Hillary Clinton hosted her first
party in her new home in Washington. People said it
was a lot like the parties she used to host at the
White House. In fact, even the furniture was the
same."
-- Jay Leno

"CNN found that Hillary Clinton is the most admired
woman in America. Women admire her because she's
strong and successful. Men admire her because she
allows her husband to cheat and get away with it."
-- Jay Leno

"Hillary Clinton is the junior senator from the great
state of New York. When they swore her in, she used
the Clinton family Bible....the one with only seven
commandments."
--David Letterman


Ron
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  #6282 (permalink)  
Old 03-12-2008, 10:58 AM
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Ron,

Those were good for my wake humor - keep 'em coming.
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  #6283 (permalink)  
Old 03-12-2008, 11:00 AM
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Good job Ron. I needed a laugh. The coupe will return in running condition.



Fred, yes you can make that claim. Mike Z is just worried that we ignor him.


I am still having problem getting past Fred's posts.
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  #6284 (permalink)  
Old 03-12-2008, 11:10 AM
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Yea, Fred has to do something about that avatar. It is really hard to post and think with that bouncing around in front of you. It is a good thing that the avatars have to be small pictures.

Ron
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  #6285 (permalink)  
Old 03-12-2008, 12:28 PM
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Just think...life size!
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  #6286 (permalink)  
Old 03-12-2008, 01:02 PM
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I don't think my monitor could take all of that shaking. Wonder if I could trade her to Bill and get him to work on the Coupe. Nah, he wouldn't work on it for anything now.

Ron
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  #6287 (permalink)  
Old 03-12-2008, 05:03 PM
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101,200 views

wow

much to do about nothing.
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  #6288 (permalink)  
Old 03-12-2008, 05:27 PM
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I am leaving for Ireland tomorrow. Ya'll be good!
i mean it!!!
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  #6289 (permalink)  
Old 03-12-2008, 06:02 PM
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K,
Have a safe and fun trip.
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  #6290 (permalink)  
Old 03-12-2008, 09:36 PM
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K
Have fun and stay safe.

I just changed two more clocks today. By June I'll have them all changed.

Just flipping thru the weekly "National Wholesale Liquidators" flyer. They have a car cover in 4 different sizes on sale for $19.99. Guess I go over to the store and see if they are worth the money. Probably will get 2 more, to go with the 3 car cover I have now!
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  #6291 (permalink)  
Old 03-13-2008, 03:05 AM
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Kristen,

Have a great time in Ireland. Visit the Highlands if you have a chance. Enjoy and relax.

Ron
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  #6292 (permalink)  
Old 03-13-2008, 04:44 AM
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Ron, Just curious but what make is your coupe?
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  #6293 (permalink)  
Old 03-13-2008, 06:15 AM
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Joe,

It is a Factory five but was highly customized. All aluminum was replaced with stainless, and they had fender inner liners installed. Also numerous other things such as custom gages and such. When I had it, a friend who had one came to look at it and asked me what make it was. His was a Factory Five also but mine had so many more and different things he didn't even realize it was the same as his.

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  #6294 (permalink)  
Old 03-13-2008, 06:37 AM
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Ron, perhaps you should sell cars on the side.

Still working the cold issue. I am getting a little better each day, but there is a lot od coughing.

I probably missed HLC, but if not...Have a safe and wonderful trip!!

The roads were a bit tricky this morning, slipped back anf forth until I hit I75.

Well, got to go.

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  #6295 (permalink)  
Old 03-13-2008, 06:47 AM
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Tru,

I hope the cough goes away soon. As for the slipping and sliding, slow down a little. (I) 175 is a bit fast for driving on slick roads, even in your state. You must be in a hurry to get to work.

Ron
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  #6296 (permalink)  
Old 03-13-2008, 08:37 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trularin View Post
The roads were a bit tricky this morning, slipped back anf forth until I hit I75.

Well, got to go.

Here you are with a cold,slipping & sliding down the frozen ice covered highways to get to work and I signed on to tell about the sunburnt arms/face/neck I got yesterday while riding my bike in 80* sunny weather.

I guess I'll put that off till tomorrow.
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  #6297 (permalink)  
Old 03-13-2008, 08:52 AM
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HUMOR FOR LEXOPHILES (LOVERS OF WORDS):

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger.

Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care

where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy

whose whole left side was cut off?

He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
Cumference.

The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little
behind in his work.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in schools
they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small
medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement.

He became a hardened criminal.

Thieves who steal corn from a garden

could be charged with stalking.

We'll never run out of math teachers

because they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles ,

U.C.L.A.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard.

He did a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on
shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your
memory.

A dentist and a manicurist fought

tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone;

it is two tired.

A will,

is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow;

fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet

writes in verse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's
your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road:

poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist

you can get repossessed.

With her marriage,

she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you
A-flat miner.

When a clock is hungry

it goes back four seconds.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France , resulted in
Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt

if you can't budge it.

Local Area Network in Australia

The LAN down under.

A calendar's days

are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted:

'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A boiled egg,

is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory

which was never developed.

A plateau,

is a high form of flattery.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the
end.

When you've seen one shopping center

you've seen a mall.

If you jump off a Paris bridge,

you are in Seine .

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd
dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes

on a knead to know basis.

Acupuncture:

a jab well done.

Ron
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  #6298 (permalink)  
Old 03-13-2008, 09:02 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by trularin View Post
Still working the cold issue. I am getting a little better each day, but there is a lot of coughing.
Tru
I bet the cold is from too much Michagan Snorkeling.
Take it easy and get better.
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  #6299 (permalink)  
Old 03-13-2008, 09:04 AM
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Woke up in the middle of the night and Ron Popeil was selling his knife set and I heard "3 easy payments of $13.33". I glanced at the clock and the time was 3:33.

Hummmmmmmmmmmmm

333

Sounds like a good number.
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Old 03-13-2008, 09:52 AM
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Warren, you better play the 333 thingy.

Ron, I75 is different every three miles. It's like a box of chocolates.

Fred, I figured you rub that Texas fun-in-sun.
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