Jokes

[letsboogie351]

A young ventriloquist was touring the clubs and, one night, he's doing a
show at the Byron Bay Golf Club.

With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde
jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts
shouting, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes.

What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the
color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being?

It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and
in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. You
and your
kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes, but
women in general...pathetically all in the name of humor!"

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde yells,
"You stay out of this! I'm talking to that little **** on your lap!"

DAWWWWWWWW!!!!!




A cruise on the Pacific goes all wrong, the ship sinks, and there are only 3 Survivors; Jim, Tom and Susie.
They manage to swim to a small island and they live there for a couple of years doing what's natural for men and women to do.

After several years of casual sex, all the time, Susie felt absolutely horrible about what she was doing.
She felt having sex with both Jim and Tom was so immoral and bad that she killed herself.

It was tragic, but Jim and Tom managed to get through it. After a while, Jim and Tom's resistance to nature's urgings waned, and the inevitable happened.

Well, a couple more months went by and Jim and Tom began to feel absolutely horrible about what they were doing.


So, they buried Susie.


A well known Anti-Semite, walks into a bar and is about to order a drink when he sees a guy close by wearing a jewish cap / kippa, a prayer shawl / tzitzis, and traditional locks of hair / payos.
He doesn't have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is Jewish.
So he shouts over to the bartender so loudly, that everyone can hear,

"Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for that Jew over there.”;

Soon after the drinks have been handed out, he notices that the Jewish guy is smiling and waving to him and says
' Thank You ' in an equally loud voice, so that everyone can hear.

This infuriates the Anti-Semite and in a loud voice, he once again orders drinks for everyone except the Jew.
But as before, this does not seem to worry the Jewish guy who continues to smile, and again says, "Thank you."
So the guy asks the barman, "What's the hell is the matter with that Jew? I've ordered two rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar except for him, and all that the silly bugger does is to smile and thank me in such a loud voice.

Is he nuts?
"Nope," replies the bartender.

"He owns this place."