Jokes

[letsboogie351]

A BLOKE SAT IN HIS ARMCHAIR AND CALLS TO HIS WIFE,
"WHEN I DIE I'M GOING TO LEAVE EVERYTHING TO YOU MY LOVE!"
SHE SHOUTS BACK, "YOU ALREADY DO YOU LAZY BASTARD!! "


A Sheriff in a small town in Wyoming walks out in the street and sees a blond haired cowboy coming toward him with nothing on but his cowboy hat, his gun and his boots. He arrests him for indecent exposure.

As he is locking him up, he asks 'Why in the world are you walking
Around like this?'

The cowboy says, 'Well it's like this Sheriff, I was in this bar down the road and this pretty little red head asks me to go out to her motor home with her. So I did.

We go inside and she pulls off her top and asks me to pull off my shirt.... So I did.

Then she pulls off her skirt and asks me to pull off my pants..... So I did.


Then she pulls off her panties and asks me to pull off my shorts.... So I did.


Then she gets on the bed and looks at me kind of sexy and says,
'Now go to town cowboy. '

'And here I am.'




It has been determined that the most used sexual position for married couples is the doggie position.

The husband sits up and begs.
The wife rolls over and plays dead.


An RAF Group Captain was about to start the morning briefing to his staff.
While waiting for the coffee machine to finish its brewing, the Group Captain decided to pose a question to all assembled.
He explained that his wife had been a bit frisky the night before and he failed to get his usual amount of sound sleep.
He posed the question of just how much of sex was "work" and how much of it was "pleasure?"
A Wing Commander chimed in with 75-25% in favour of work.
A Squadron Leader said it was 50-50%.
A Flight Lieutenant responded with 25-75% in favour of pleasure, depending upon his state of inebriation at the time.
There being no consensus, the Group Captain turned to the Corporal who was in charge of making the coffee.
What was his opinion?
Without any hesitation, the young Corporal responded, "Sir, it has to be 100% pleasure."
The Group Captain was surprised and, as you might guess, asked why?
"Well, sir, if there was any work involved, the officers would have me doing it for them."

The room fell silent.
God Bless the lower ranks.