Jokes

[letsboogie351]

My daughter just walked into the living room and said "Dad, cancel my
allowance immediately, rent my room out, throw all my clothes out of
the window, take my TV, and stereo, and iPhone, and iPod, and my
laptop. Please take all of my jewellery to the Salvation Army or Cash
Converters. Then sell my new car, take my front door key away from me
and throw me out of the house". Then disown me and never talk to me
again. And don't forget to write me out of your will and leave my
share to my brother.

Well, she didn't put it quite like that... she actually said...

"Dad this is my new boyfriend, Mohamed."



A friend of mine was sitting on a lawn sunning and reading, when he was startled by a fairly late model car crashing through a hedge and coming to rest on his lawn.

He helped the elderly driver out and sat him on a lawn chair.

"My goodness," he exclaimed, "you are quite old to be driving!"

"Yes," he replied, "I am old enough that I don’t need a license."

"What, NO LICENSE?"

"Nope! The last time I went to my doctor he examined me, and asked if I had a driver's license.

I told him 'yes' and handed it to him. He took scissors out of a drawer, cut the license into pieces, threw them in the wastebasket and said, 'You won’t need this anymore.'

So I thanked him and left."