Jokes

[letsboogie351]

A West AustralianTourist visiting **New Zealand** for the first time hired a
car to travel to both ****North & South** ** Islands****.
On his way to the south Island he observed a bloke in a paddock having sex
with a sheep.
The tourist was horrified to think this unacceptable behaviour could occur
in this educated country.
He was so disgusted he stopped at the nearby pub to sooth his nerves.
Whilst at the bar he noticed a chap with one leg at the end of the bar
discreetly wanking himself.
The tourist was disgusted & said to the barmaid, "What the hell is going on
over here, I've only been here for a couple hours & I've seen a bloke
screwing a sheep in the paddock & now this one legged bloke at the end of
the bar wanking himself off".
The barmaid replied, "Fair go mate, be reasonable - you can't expect a man
with only one leg to catch a sheep".

[bliss]

video covering the 50's - cars/music

My wife´s suspicious mind is really beginning to annoy me. Last night after looking at my calendar she wanted to know who May was.
_____

[bliss]

Back in the day....

How many Club Cobra Forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"
Another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take
this discussion to a light bulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to
buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this
technique and what brands are faulty
5 People to post pics of their own light bulbs
15 People to post "I can't see S$%^!" and their own light bulbs
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all
headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot
handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "Didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "Do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about
light bulbs"
4 more to get into personal attacks over their political views.
1 moderator to lock the light bulb thread.
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again.

[FWB]

Originally Posted by bliss

Back in the day....

How many Club Cobra Forum posters does it take to change a light bulb?

1 to change the light bulb and to post that the light bulb has been changed
14 to share similar experiences of changing light bulbs and how the
light bulb could have been changed differently
7 to caution about the dangers of changing light bulbs
6 to argue over whether it's "lightbulb" or "light bulb"
Another 6 to condemn those 6 as stupid
2 industry professionals to inform the group that the proper term is "lamp"
15 know-it-alls who claim they were in the industry, and that "light
bulb" is perfectly correct
19 to post that this forum is not about light bulbs and to please take
this discussion to a light bulb forum
11 to defend the posting to this forum saying that we all use light
bulbs and therefore the posts are relevant to this forum
36 to debate which method of changing light bulbs is superior, where to
buy the best light bulbs, what brand of light bulbs work best for this
technique and what brands are faulty
5 People to post pics of their own light bulbs
15 People to post "I can't see S$%^!" and their own light bulbs
7 to post URL's where one can see examples of different light bulbs
4 to post that the URL's were posted incorrectly and then post the
corrected URL's
13 to link all posts to date, quote them in their entirety including all
headers and signatures, and add "Me too"
5 to post to the group that they will no longer post because they cannot
handle the light bulb controversy
4 to say "Didn't we go through this already a short time ago?"
13 to say "Do a search on light bulbs before posting questions about
light bulbs"
4 more to get into personal attacks over their political views.
1 moderator to lock the light bulb thread.
1 forum lurker to respond to the original post 6 months from now and
start it all over again.

let me guess....Patrick started the light bulb thread......

[bliss]

Some statements don't make sense....

When people say, "It's always the last place you look". (No kiddin'! Why would you keep looking after you've found what you're looking for?)

When someone tells me that something is "new and improved." (Which is it? If it's new, then there's never been anything before it. If it's improved, then there must have been something before it, so it couldn't be new.)

When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". (Of course I do. What good is cake if you can't eat it?)

When people say "life is short". (No it isn't. Name me one other single thing that people participate in that's longer)
_____

Ashes to ashes,
dust to dust.
If it wasn’t for Chevy's,
our tools would rust.
_____

Not funny, just an old quote..

"When you see that in order to produce, you need to obtain permission from men who produce nothing - When you see that money is flowing to those who deal, not in goods, but in favors - When you see that men get richer by graft and by pull than by work, and your laws don't protect you against them, but protect them against you - When you see corruption being rewarded and honesty becoming a self sacrifice - You may know that your society is doomed."

Ayn Rand

Atlas Shrugged, 1957