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Kirkham Motorsports

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Old 05-30-2013, 02:55 PM
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So, someone try this.....

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Old 05-31-2013, 08:46 AM
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Old 06-01-2013, 08:32 AM
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A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror.

Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday. "I'd like to be eight again", she replied, still looking in the mirror.

On the morning of her Birthday he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took
her to 'Adventure World' theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide,
the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down.

He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soft drink, and her favorites, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted. He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, "Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?" Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
"I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!"

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
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Old 06-01-2013, 03:29 PM
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We had a power outage at our home last night. So, instead of a night of TV, the wife and I spent the time chatting. It was a real eye opener - I'm off to buy a back-up generator today.
______

I was at a party on Saturday night, the DJ played 'Sit Down' by James and everybody sat down.

Then he played 'Jump Around' so we all jumped around the dance floor. Next he played 'Come on Eileen' and I got thrown out of the party.
_____

I knew I had the wrong marriage counselor when I saw her latest book: "Women Are From Venus, Men Are Lyin' Bastards"
_____

I was perfectly happy in Mississippi,
Then Mr. Isippi came back early from a business trip.
_____

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