Jokes

[bliss]

The history of the middle finger

Well, now......here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified.

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as 'plucking the yew' (or 'pluck yew').

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and they began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew! Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute! It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as 'giving the bird.'

And yew thought yew knew every plucking thing.
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What is the definition of eternity?

Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection
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I want to steal a donut truck and go on a high speed chase, because it would be funny to watch cops chase a donut truck on the news..
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The way it should be.......

Hello... Thank you for calling

For English press 1
for any other language please hang up and relocate to the country where its spoken
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I gazed into her eyes.

My heart was pounding.
Lips trembling, unable to speak.
She opened her little mouth and uttered three words, I'll never forget.

THAT'S HIM OFFICER.......