Jokes

[bliss]

I saw two guys walking down the street in matching clothing.

I asked if they were gay. They quickly arrested me.
_____

I bought some Gourmet salt.

The salt packet says it was created from a 250 million-year-old Himalayan rock salt bed

The label says the expiration date is June 2018.

I'm so glad they dug it up just in time.
_____

I just had a near-sex experience.

My wife flashed before my eyes.
_____

A Canadian is just an unarmed American with health insurance.
_____

I was so angry when I found my wife’s profile on a dating website.

That lying bi*^h isn’t “fun to be around”.
_____

[SMOKNAC]

The Robot:

A father buys a lie detector robot that slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it out at dinner one night.
The father asks his son what he did that afternoon.
The son says, "I did some schoolwork."
The robot slaps the son.
The son says, "Ok, Ok. I was at a friend's house watching movies."
Dad asks, "What movie did you watch?"
Son says, "Toy Story."
The robot slaps the son.
Son says, "Ok, Ok, we were watching porn."
Dad says, "What? At your age I didn’t even know what porn was."
The robot slaps the father.
Mom laughs and says, "Well, he certainly is your son."
The robot slaps the mother.

The Robot for is sale.