Jokes

[Chicagowil]

There was a little boy and girl on the playground.

The little boy was trying to make the girl cry on a bet with his friends.

He approaches the girl and drops his pants. The says to the little girl "I have one of these and you don't". The little girl starts to cry and runs home.

The little boy feels very proud that he has won!

The next day the little boy sees another little girl on the playground and approaches her.

He once again lowers his pants and says "I have one of these and you don't"

The little girl raises her skirt and says "My Mom say with one of these I can have all of those that I want"

[bliss]

Sol and Mort are walking from religious service. Sol wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying. Mort replies, "Why don't you ask Rabbi Schwartz?"

So Sol goes up to Rabbi Schwartz and asks, "Rabbi, may I smoke while I pray?" But Rabbi says, "No, my son, you may not. That's utter disrespect to our religion."

Sol goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Rabbi told him. Mort says, "I'm not surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try."

And so Mort goes up to Rabbi Schwartz and asks, "Rabbi, may I pray while I smoke?" To which Rabbi Schwartz eagerly replies, "By all means, my son. By all means."

Moral:
The reply you get depends on the question you ask.
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A man visits a barbershop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up,
he mentions the problems he has had getting a close shave around his cheeks.

"I have just the thing," says the barber taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer.
"Just place this between your cheek and gum."

The client places the ball in his mouth and the barber proceeds with the closest shave
the man has ever experienced.

As the Barber is finishing up, the client asks in garbled speech, "What if I swallow it?"

"No problem," says the barber. "Just bring it back the next day like everyone else does."
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