Jokes

[letsboogie351]

I phoned an engineer friend to seek his help with a problem but, he shut me down saying that he didn't have time as he was currently busy working on aqua thermal treatment of ceramics, aluminium and stainless steel under a constrained environment.
I was impressed until further probing revealed he was washing dishes with hot water under the watchful eye of his wife

[bliss]

Me: It's not about how many times you fall, it's about how you get back up.

Cop: That's not how this sobriety test works.
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After Monday and Tuesday, even the calendar says W T F!
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Two doctors and an HMO manager died and lined up at
the pearly gates for admission to heaven. St. Peter
asked them to identify themselves. One doctor stepped
forward and said, "I was a pediatric spine surgeon and
helped kids overcome their deformities."

St. Peter said, "You can enter."

The second doctor said "I was a psychiatrist. I helped people
rehabilitate themselves."

St. Peter also invited him in.

The third applicant stepped forward and said, "I was an
HMO manager. I helped people get cost-effective health care."

St. Peter said, "You can come in, too." But, as the HMO manager
walked by, St. Peter added, "You can stay three days. After that, you go to hell.
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