Jokes

cobra de capell · #11 (**permalink**) 06-16-2006, 01:51 PM

ClubCobra Man Test !!

1.In the company of females, intercourse should be referred to as:
A. Lovemaking B. Screwing C. Taking the pigskin bus to tuna town.

2.You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared: A. Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship. B. Your blood-test results. C. Five tequila slammers.

3.You time your orgasm so that: A. Your partner climaxes first. B. You both climax simultaneously. C. You don't miss ESPN Sportscenter.

4.Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is: A. Healthy, creative love-play. B. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to. C. Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need to ever find out about.

5.Spending the whole night cuddling a woman you've just had sex with is: A. The best part of the experience. B. The second best part of the experience. C. $100 extra.

6.Your girlfriend says she's gained five pounds in the last month. You tell her that it is: A. Of no importance to your affectionate feelings for her. B. Not a problem, she can join your gym. C. A conservative estimate.

7.You think today's sensitive, caring man is: A. A myth B. An oxymoron C. A moron

8.Foreplay is to sex as: A. Appetizer is to entree. B. Primer is to paint. C. A long line is to an amusement park ride.

9.Which of the following are you most likely to find yourself saying at the end of a relationship? A. "I hope we can still be friends." B. "I'm not in right now, please leave a message at the beep." C. "Welcome to Dumpsville, population, YOU."

10.A woman who is uncomfortable watching you masturbate: A. Probably needs a little more time before she can cope with that sort of intimacy. B. Is uptight and a waste of time. C. Shouldn't have sat next to you on the bus in the first place.

Evaluating Results: If you answered "A" more than 7 times, check your pants to make sure you really are a man. If you answered "B" more than 7 times, check into therapy, you're a little confused. If you answered "C" more than 7 times, "YOU DA MAN!"