Jokes

[cobra de capell]

New Dictionary

WOMEN'S ENGLISH

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need... = I want.

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = I need to complain

7. Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to

8. Do what you want = You'll pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead

11. You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me

12. Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs

13. You're so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot

14. Do you love me? = I am going to ask for something expensive

15. It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now

16. You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?

17. I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on
TV

18. How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're really not
going to like

MEN'S ENGLISH

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = Let's have sex now

6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex?

7. What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question

8. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

12. Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for other men to have sex
with you

13. You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have sex with you
within the next 3 mins

14.! Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep
person and then I'd like to have sex with you.

15. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm gay