Jokes

[cobra de capell]

A Somalian arrives in Vancouver as a new immigrant to Canada.

He stops the first person he sees walking down the street and says,
'Thank you Mr. Canadian for letting me in this country, giving me housing,
food stamps, free medical care, free education and no taxes!'

The passer-by says, 'You are mistaken, I am Mexican.'

The man goes on and encounters another passerby. ' Thank you for having
such a beautiful country here in Canada!'

The person says, 'I not Canadian, I Vietnamese.'

The new arrival walks further, and the next person he sees he stops,
shakes his hand and says, 'Thank you for the wonderful Canada!'

That person puts up his hand and says, 'I am from Middle East , I am not
Canadian!'

He finally sees a nice lady and asks, 'Are you an Canadian?'

She says , 'No, I am from Africa!'

Puzzled, he asks her, 'Where are all the Canadians?'

The African lady checks her watch and says ...'Probably at work' ...
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9 Things I Hate About Everyone

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time....I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?


2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the T.V. remote because they refuse to walk to the T.V. and change the channel manually.


3. When people say 'Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too'. Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?


4. When people say 'it's always the last place you look'. Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their
asses!


5. When people say while watching a film 'did you see that?' No Loser, I paid $12 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.


6. People who ask 'Can I ask you a question?'... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.


8. When people say 'life is short'. What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?


9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks 'Has the bus come yet?'. If the bus came would I be standing here, dumbass?
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