Jokes

[cobra de capell]

Here’s The List for 2008, the top ten funniest political quotes of 2008.

10. Mike Huckabee, on what squirrel tastes like:

“It tastes like squirrel.”

9. John Edwards on cheating on Elizabeth Edwards:

“Can I explain to you what happened? First of all it happened during a period after she was in remission from cancer.”

8. Nancy Pelosi:

“I have always loved longitude. I love latitude; it’s in the stars. But longitude, it’s about time. … Time and clocks and all the rest of that have always been a fascination for me.”

7. President Bush, meeting with President Arroyo of the Philippines:

“I reminded the President that I am reminded of the great talent of the — of our Philippine-Americans when I eat dinner at the White House.”

6. Barack Obama:

“Can you imagine if you had your Social Security invested in the stock market these last two weeks? These last two months? You wouldn’t need Social Security. You’d be having a – you know like, what was it. ‘Sanford and Son,’ ‘I’m coming Weezie.’ It ain’t right.”

5. A tie …

Joe Biden, at an Ocala, FL, ice cream shop:

“Look at this! Man, this is a dangerous place. Holy mackerel! I’m an ice cream guy. Is ice cream down that way? Could I get a sugar cone and chocolate chip? … I’m getting plain old chocolate chip. That’s plenty, God love ya.”

And Joe Biden, hearing testimony from Gen. David Petraeus:

PETRAEUS: Senator, the vice president was in Iraq just a couple weeks after that, and he also had a very warm reception.
BIDEN: Did he get kissed? Get a kiss?
PETRAEUS: I believe he did get kissed when he was there.
BIDEN: I just want to know whether he got kissed, that’s all.

4. John McCain:

“We should be able to deliver bottled hot water to dehydrated babies.”

3. Sarah Palin, being interviewed by Katie Couric:

COURIC: And when it comes to establishing your worldview, I was curious, what newspapers and magazines did you regularly read before you were tapped for this to stay informed and to understand the world?

PALIN: I’ve read most of them, again with a great appreciation for the press, for the media.

COURIC: What, specifically?
PALIN: Um, all of them, any of them that have been in front of me all these years.

2. Chris Matthews:

“It’s part of reporting this case, this election, the feeling most people get when they hear Barack Obama’s speech. My, I felt this thrill going up my leg. I mean, I don’t have that too often.”

1. Bill Clinton:

“The country is groaning and moaning and screaming for change.”