Jokes

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A husband and wife were sitting watching a TV program about psychology when he turned to his wife and said, 'Honey, I bet you can't tell me something that will make me happy and sad at the same time.'

She said, 'You have the biggest **** of all your friends.'
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The rest of the world cannot understand how after bitter election campaigns, American politicians can return to reality. For instance, Sarah Palin has invited to her great state of Alaska the men who defeated her, Barack Obama and Joe Biden.

She has provided a moose hunting trip for their enjoyment and has hired two other prominent men to assist them. **** Cheney will instruct them in safe gun handling and Ted Kennedy will drive them back to their cabins in the evening.

What a gal! That Sarah is such a good sport and thinks of everything.
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Little Johnny was in the classroom bored to the back teeth on a Friday afternoon, and the teacher decided to have a game for the kids to get them thinking.

'Okay class. Now I'm going to say a famous quote, and the first person to tell me who said that quote, can have Monday off' said the teacher.

'Who is credited with writing the phrase 'To be or not to be, That is the question,' asked the teacher.

Little Pham Lam Nguyen at the front of the class called out, 'Shakespeare'.

'Well done!' said the teacher, 'You can have Monday off.

'No thank you Miss. I am of Vietnamese origin and it is in our culture to study as hard as we can, so I will be here on Monday studying hard,' said Little Pham Lam Nguyen.

'Well okay,' said the teacher.

The next quote is, 'I had a dream!

'Little Fri Sum Kat also at the front yelled out 'I bereiva it was Martin Ruther King!'

'Well done!' said the teacher. 'You can have Monday off'

'No thanka you miss. I am of Chinese oligin and we also do not take time offa school. Education is evelything to us, so I will be in on Monday studying hard too,' said little Fri Sum Kat. 'Okay,' said the teacher.

Then she heard a voice from the back of the classroom, 'F#^*ing > Asians!'
'Who said that?' yelled the teacher in an angry tone.

'Pauline Hanson!' yelled little Johnny. 'See ya Tuesday!!!!