airplane horror stories.. beat this

[vettestr]

Just for fun ... beat this horror story !!!

I was flying out of Phx. AZ on a biz trip in about 114 degree heat and on a WEED WHACKER to top it off (a charter turbo prop - 9 passenger) Myself and 8 Marines just ending their last days in life as private citizens before reporting for duty/training were the passengers. We were headed for Fort Hachuca or a tiny gunnery range in the middle of the desert. My fellow passengers were together for 3 days of party and drinking contests on their last free time and did it up VERY well. Some had already reached terminal hangovers a few were just slipping into convulsions at time of boarding.
The temp of 114 plus is important here because it makes for a very very bumpy ride do to thermals and winds. Once up in the air we were gaining then losing 1500 feet per min in these thermals during flight. The plane was small enough with all seats installed the walls curved in toward your head for only a couple of inches clearance. So this roller coaster ride was beating me against the walls like a pinball. It was also over a 100* degrees inside the plane and we had an hour flight in front of us.
Within 5 min of take off the roller coaster began and 5 more min. started the puking by 2 of my fellow passengers. Now it is 100+ degrees inside this tin can and we were shoulder to shoulder with even less room from the plane walls. The puking had now started by more than 1/2 the group. Some were in the dry heaves and beginning to die. Those little puke bags were sliding up and down the aisles and then going air born as the plane would fall from below us. As the air born puke bags landed they would squirt juice from the corners of the rolled up twisty things on the end. The smell was just un-friggin describable and I had squirt juice all down 1 pant leg. We were only 1/2 way through the flight!!!!!!
I worked in a trauma room at a major hosp. for 9 years so had seen and smelled about anything you can think of but it was starting to get to me. Then I got puked on across the aisle but projection puking and it was on target. Can ya beat this true story of my most enjoyable flight ????

[fsstnotch]

WOW.... that sounds like a blast! haha

If somebody tossed it on me... I would have lost my mind! haha

[RedBarchetta]

You should title your short story "Jeff and the Vomet Comet."

[computerworks]

Mod Note...
Moved to The Lounge

[vettestr]

Red,
My dad is a private pilot so have flown with him a bunch but never in such conditions. I have no idea what a good roller coaster fall in comparison to the altimeter sweep of - then + 1500 feet is but much more radical. Maybe a pilot can compare but it was severe for the whole flight. Pilot did apologize saying he could not find an altitude any better.

[Dangerous Doug]

Sounds like this happened some time ago...
...what brought this tasty memory back up to the frontal cortex?

DD

[imagine2frolic]

I think the only thing that could have made it worse. Would for it to be even hotter. GEESUS, when I hear some begin to wretch I start getting sick myself. I probably would have passed out......LOL

[Wayne Maybury]

Could any of these guys even walk after the plane finally touched down?

I fly a lot so rough weather really doesn't bother me but I would have lost my lunch when the guys around me started heaving.

Most of my flight stories have to do with delays, bad weather, going back to the point of origin instead of destination, etc. Nothing exciting like a bunch of marines losing their breakfast.

Wayne

[imagine2frolic]

Wayne if a little bumping was going to affect you on a plane. That lovely boat of yours wouldn't get much use.....LOL

[Wayne Maybury]

imagine2

My wife and I were on a charter flight a few years ago and she had to "go". Every time she tried to go to the head, we would hit some turbulence and the seat belt sign would come on. Finally she made it into the head, the seat belt sign comes on again and a flight attendant starts banging on the door telling her that she has to go back to her seat. My wife said, "What's the big deal, we aren't even walking on the walls", now that's a sailor talking. She stayed there until she was ready to go back to her seat.

Wayne

[trularin]

Jeff. what great airline were you on????

[Scott S]

Years ago I was learning to fly a Cessna 140, my flight instructor abruptly pulled his shirt over his head and puked. I got back to the field as fast as I could and slammed on the brakes, he bailed and threw up in the propwash, his puke came in the open door and mixed with mine.

Scott S

[trularin]

Don't take this wrong, but I am not sure I want to fly with some of you.

This is horrible.

[Jay Little]

Too long to post on here, but here's the link. No airplanes, but puking involved!
http://www.corral.net/forums/showthread.php?t=945368

[wtm442]

Jay - now that was funny

[trularin]

We have moved from planes to projectile vomiting.

What an interesting thread.

[bomelia]

That was funny, but REALLY sick.

[WildBill3]

when i was a kid we took the boat over to Cataleina Island took awhile i dont know maybe an hour and a half.there was like 140 or so on board including my dad and uncle which were old WW2 Navy salts the capt said ther were some swells beyond the break waters .I had been out side the hole time on deck watching al the goings on and decided to go inside for a bathroom break upon open the door to the insides of the USS Minow Giligan was in the door way trying to cleanup someones puke that didnt make it outside as the small ship rolled the bucket of warm watery nasty stuff rolled across the floor smashing into an area were passengers were seated setting off the most godawfull chain reaction of puking by about half to 2/3rds of those inside .Resisting the urge to speaw I slammed the door and ran to tell dad of the mahem insueing inside.Dad in all his wisdom said yep they aint got ther sea legs yet goto the bow and let the wind and ocean spashya for awhile youll be ok.And I was,as i walked away I can still here him chuckling ,telling my uncle about the storms on the north sea duriing the war.And what an adventure it was.....WB

[bomelia]

Originally Posted by trularin

We have moved from planes to projectile vomiting.

What an interesting thread.

...and projectile pooping.

Where's that pic of Jamo on the pot?

Mike

[Jamo]

Jeff

I can't one-up ya on that horror story (doubt anyone can), but your post back back some memories (which I been able to keep buried up until now...thanks!).

Back in the late 70s/early 80s, I lived in El Centro in the Imperial Valley. Worked for a large ag trade association which provided legal services to its members fighting the UFW. My area was the deserts of California and all of Arizona. I used to fly between Imperial, Yuma, Blythe and Sky Harbor every week on those cigar shaped POS death traps...Imperial Airlines and the even more super-duper POS Cochise Airlines, not to mention on various King Aires, Commanders and other planes of the Agricultural Air Force (ag companies' private planes that we all hitched rides on).

Folks flying in the desert during the summer can attest to your description of the thermals and what it does to these large replicas of rubberband powered toy airplanes of our youth. I always enjoyed the landings into Imperial, Tacna and Parker when the sidewinds turned the planes sideways so one wheel would touch first, then the rest of the damn thing would pivot around before the other hit ground. In other words, you're looking out your porthole at the length of the runway. Between the ups and downs and the expected phuked up landings, you just sat in your own sweat.

Winters were not much better...ice on the wings on the old planes without deicers...you just land on crop dusting fields and knock the sh!t off. I remember flying from Coachella to Orange County one night sitting in the second seat of a small Piper when we had to fly through the canyons of Mt. San Jaciento cuz the ice kept us from flying over it.

I learned to drive...I didn't give a good golly damn if it was all night to get somewhere for a morning meeting or court date. My gut just couldn't take it anymore.