2008 Democrat National Convention

Ron61 · #1 (**permalink**) 11-09-2007, 03:26 AM

Date: Thu, 8 Nov 2007 12:57:07 -0800

2008 DEMOCRATIC NATIONAL CONVENTION

Schedule of Events

7:00 pm ~ OPENING FLAG BURNING.
7:15 pm ~ PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE TO THE U. N.
7:20 pm ~ TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST.
7:25 pm ~ NONRELIGIOUS PRAYER AND WORSHIP - Jesse Jackson and Al
Sharpton
7:45 pm ~ CEREMONIAL TREE HUGGING - Darryl Hannah
7:55 pm ~ TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST.
8:00 pm ~ HOW I INVENTED THE INTERNET - Al Gore
8:15 pm ~ GAY WEDDING PLANNING - Rosie O'Donnell
8:35 pm ~ TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST.
8:40 pm ~ OUR TROOPS ARE WAR CRIMINALS - John Kerry
9.00 pm ~ MEMORIAL SERVICE FOR SADDAM AND HIS SONS - Cindy Sheehan
and Susan Sarandon
10:00 pm ~ "ANSWERING MACHINE ETIQUETTE" - Alec Baldwin
11:00 pm ~ TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST.
11:05 pm ~ COLLECTION FOR THE OSAMA BIN LADEN KIDNEY TRANSPLANT
FUND - Barbara Streisand
11:15 pm ~ FREE THE FREEDOM FIGHTERS FROM GUANTANAMO BAY -Sean
Penn
11:30 pm ~ OVAL OFFICE AFFAIRS - William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm ~ TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST.
11:50 pm ~ HOW GEORGE BUSH BROUGHT DOWN THE WORLD TRADE TOWERS
Howard Dean
12:15 am ~ "TRUTH IN BROADCASTING AWARD" - Presented to Dan Rather by
Michael Moore
12:25 am ~ TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST
12:30 am ~ SATELLITE ADDRESS - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am ~ NOMINATION OF HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON - Nancy Pelosi
1:00 am ~ TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST.
1:05 am ~ CORONATION OF HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON .
1:30 am ~ TED KENNEDY PROPOSES A TOAST.
1:35 am ~ BILL CLINTON ASKS TED KENNEDY TO DRIVE HILLARY HOME .

Ron

VRM · #2 (**permalink**) 11-09-2007, 10:26 AM

The schedule from the last GOP Convention.

5:00 PM Opening Prayer, led by the Rev. Jerry Falwell
5:30 PM Pledge of Allegiance, followed by a short lecture on how the words 'under god' were really there the whole time, and not added by Congress decades later
5:35 PM Burning of Bill of Rights (excluding 2nd amendment)
5:40 PM Announcement: Lincoln Memorial Renamed for Ronald Reagan
5:45 PM Salute to the Coalition of the Willing
5:46 PM Seminar #1: Getting your kid a military deferment
5:50 PM First Presidential Beer Bong
6:00 PM Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be added to Mt. Rushmore
6:10 PM Phyllis Schlafly speaks on "Why Women Shouldn't Be Leaders"
6:20 PM Second Prayer led by Oral Roberts (a collection plate will be passed - please help keep Oral from being called home)
6:30 PM Dinner Break: Hot Dogs, Apple Pie, and Freedom Fries
6:45 PM GOP's Tribute to Tokenism, featuring Colin Powell & Condi Rice
6:46 PM Ann Coulter's Tribute to "Joe McCarthy, Great American Patriot"
7:00 PM Announcement: Ronald Reagan to be canonized
7:15 PM Seminar #2: Katherine Harris on "Are Elections Really Necessary?"
7:30 PM Second Presidential Beer Bong
7:40 PM EPA Address #1: Mercury, it's what's for dinner
7:50 PM Seminar #3: How to spend money you don't have
8:00 PM Vote on which country to invade next
8:10 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh
8:15 PM Mark Foley and Larry Craig Lecture: 'The Homos are after your children'
8:30 PM Roundtable discussion on reproductive rights (MEN only)
8:50 PM Seminar #4: Corporations: the government of the future
9:00 PM Condi Rice sings "I Can't Help Lovin' Dat Man"
9:05 PM Third Presidential Beer Bong
9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires
9:20 PM Newt Gingrich speaks on "The Sanctity of Marriage"
9:30 PM Break for secret meetings
9:45 PM Trent Lott: "Re-segregation in the 21st Century"
10:15 PM Lecture by Karl Rove: Doublespeak made easy
10:30 PM Rumsfeld demonstration: How to squint and talk macho
10:35 PM Bush demonstration of trademark deer-in-headlights stare
10:40 PM John Ashcroft demonstrates new mandatory Kevlar chastity belt
10:45 PM Clarence Thomas reads list of black Republicans
10:46 PM Fourth Presidential Beer Bong
10:50 PM Seminar #5: Education: a drain on our nation's economy
11:00 PM Third Prayer: 'Please God, Kill Chavez', led by Pat Robertson
11:10 PM Hilary Clinton Pinata
11:20 PM Second John Ashcroft Lecture: Evolutionists: the dangerous new cult
11:30 PM Call EMTs to revive Rush Limbaugh again
11:35 PM Ceremonial Blaming of Clinton
11:40 PM Laura serves milk and cookies
11:50 PM Closing Prayer, led by Jesus Himself
12:00 AM Nomination of George W. Bush as Holy Supreme Planetary Overlord
12:30 AM George W. Bush drives himself home, gets arrested for driving drunk, covers up arrest, and issues pardon.

VRM · #3 (**permalink**) 11-09-2007, 10:32 AM

I think my favourites are the Hillary pinata and the calls to revive Rush.

Steve

wtm442 · #4 (**permalink**) 11-09-2007, 11:34 AM

9:10 PM EPA Address #2 Trees: the real cause of forest fires

LMAO

Ron61 · #5 (**permalink**) 11-09-2007, 11:34 AM

Steve,

Those are good. I never received that e-mail. Between the two of them, I think they lay out a pretty good format for the conventions. I kind of liked the Bill Clinton asking Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home one.

Ron

VRM · #6 (**permalink**) 11-09-2007, 12:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ron61

Steve,

Those are good. I never received that e-mail. Between the two of them, I think they lay out a pretty good format for the conventions. I kind of liked the Bill Clinton asking Ted Kennedy to drive Hillary home one.

Ron

Yeah - I like that too. And the constant kennedy toasts are perfect as well! Now that we have both parties figured out what are they going to do for an encore?? I don't think we want to know!

Steve