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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 07-02-2008, 07:20 AM
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Default Three new Navy ships

Three new Navy ships


USS REAGAN

Seeing it next to the Arizona Memorial really puts its size into perspective... ENORMOUS!



BEAUTIFUL!

When the Bridge pipes 'Man the Rail' there is a lot of rail to man on this monster: shoulder to shoulder, around 4.5 acres. Her displacement is about 100,000 tons with full complement.

Capability

Top speed exceeds 30 knots, powered by two nuclear reactors that can operate for more than 20 years without refueling

1. Expected to operate in the fleet for about 50 years

2. Carries over 80 combat aircraft

3. Three arresting cables can stop a 28-ton aircraft going 150 miles per hour in less than 400 feet

Size

1. Towers 20 stories above the waterline

2. 1092 feet long; nearly as long as the Empire State Building is tall

3. Flight deck covers 4.5 acres

4. 4 bronze propellers, each 21 feet across, weighing 66,200 pounds

5. 2 rudders, each 29 by 22 feet and weighing 50 tons

6. 4 high speed aircraft elevators, each over 4,000 square feet

Capacity

1. Home to about 6,000 Navy personnel

2. Carries enough food and supplies to operate for 90 days

3. 18,150 meals served daily

4. Distillation plants provide 400,000 gallons of fresh water from sea water daily, enough for 2,000 homes

5. Nearly 30,000 light fixtures and 1,325 miles of cable and wiring 1,400 telephones

6. 14,000 pillowcases and 28,000 sheets

7. Costs the Navy approximately $250,000 per day for pier side operation

8. Costs the Navy approximately $25 million per day for underway operations (Sailor's salaries included).



US Navy welcomes the USS Bill Clinton

Sunday, July 2, 2006 Vancouver , BC . Headed for Seattle , WA., the US Navy welcomed the latest member of its fleet today.

The USS William Jefferson Clinton (CVS1) set sail today from its home port of Vancouver , BC.



The ship is the first of its kind in the Navy and is a standing legacy to President Bill Clinton 'for his foresight in military budget cuts' and his conduct while president.

The ship is constructed nearly entirely from recycled aluminum and is completely solar powered with a top speed of 5 knots.

It boasts an arsenal comprised of one (unarmed) F14 Tomcat or one (unarmed) F18 Hornet aircraft which, although they cannot be launched or captured on the 100 foot flight deck, form a very menacing presence.

As a standing order there are no firearms allowed on board.

The 20 person crew is completely diversified, including members of all races, creeds, sex, and sexual orientation.

This crew, like the crew aboard the USS Jimmy Carter, is specially trained to avoid conflicts and appease any and all enemies of the United States at all costs.!

An onboard Type One DNC Universal Translator can send out messages of apology in any language to anyone who may find America offensive. The number of apologies are limitless and though some may seem hollow and disingenuous, the Navy advises all apologies will sound very sincere.

The ship's purpose is not defined so much as a unit of national defense, but instead in times of conflict, the USS Clinton has orders to seek refuge in Canada .

The ship may be positioned near the Democratic National Party Headquarters for photo-ops. The Clin-toons Should be very proud.



USS Barack Obama sailing in from Cuba

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Old 07-02-2008, 08:28 AM
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I like the way this thread deteriorates as you read.



Cute!
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Old 07-02-2008, 09:52 AM
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Terry
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Old 07-02-2008, 02:21 PM
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Now that was a riot
joeg
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Old 07-02-2008, 03:04 PM
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Don't forget this one named for our latest Preznit.





Steve
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Old 07-02-2008, 03:49 PM
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Great Reading.
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Old 07-06-2008, 10:35 PM
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Sorry Steve, I wanna call you an idiot for posting that, but I won't out respect for the forum. Wasn't even close to funny, like the OPs post wich was DAM funny. And painfully true.

What does the USS Jimmy Carter look like? Perhaps the African Queen?

Mike

Long live Reagan's Memory!
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Old 07-07-2008, 01:27 PM
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Mike,
I think it's funny that you never find something funny that pokes fun of something you value. I wanna call you a clinchpoop (something you called me way back when) for not being able to laugh at yourself, but I won't for the sake of the forum.

Lighten up - you might live longer.

Oh, and here is the Jimmy Carter:



However, when it gets right down to it - if it ever came to a slugfest between the USS Reagan and the USS Carter I would pick the Carter every time.

Steve
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Old 07-07-2008, 01:32 PM
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Oh, I can laugh at myself, its just more fun to laugh at you!

Is that a real boat?

Mike

Edit: Never mind...no bow wake...photoshop
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Old 07-07-2008, 03:21 PM
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Of course that photo is real!

You don't think that someone would take advantage of Mr Peanut when he was lying face down in the gutter after an all night bender on Billy-Beer, and then photoshop him in, do you?

And who stuck that thing in his ass?? I guess that this just proves that it's not easy being nuts...

Steve
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Old 07-07-2008, 03:36 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bomelia View Post
Oh, I can laugh at myself, its just more fun to laugh at you!

Is that a real boat?

Mike

Edit: Never mind...no bow wake...photoshop
Mike-it's close.The latest,greatest,baddest,most deadly warship ever to set sail is named after the biggest pu$$y to ever occupy the Whitehouse.

Makes me ill.
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Old 07-07-2008, 11:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VRM View Post
Of course that photo is real!

You don't think that someone would take advantage of Mr Peanut when he was lying face down in the gutter after an all night bender on Billy-Beer, and then photoshop him in, do you?

And who stuck that thing in his ass?? I guess that this just proves that it's not easy being nuts...

Steve
Good one Steve ... great visual. Which proves (sorry cobrabill) the Jimmy is not a pu$$y but a larger than life a$$hole.

Mike (feeling mighty guilty about all the bad word filter sidestepping)
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Old 07-08-2008, 09:14 AM
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Mike,
I met Carter when I went south to help rebuild phone service after a hurricane. He seemed to be a very nice guy - much better suited to humanitarian causes than running a country.

Anyway - here is the USS John McCain. The navy has wanted to decommission her for decades.

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Last edited by VRM; 07-08-2008 at 02:40 PM..
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Old 07-08-2008, 12:34 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bomelia View Post
Good one Steve ... great visual. Which proves (sorry cobrabill) the Jimmy is not a pu$$y but a larger than life a$$hole.

Mike (feeling mighty guilty about all the bad word filter sidestepping)
I was being neighborly,calling him a pu$$y.Your observations are correct.
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Old 07-09-2008, 12:22 AM
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I was working in the motor pool as a private contractor for the Army, I was the 'new guy' (Wash DC area). One day a real nice limo comes in and I was assigned the vehicle. Another wrench warns me to be careful, thats Jimmy Carters personal ride. I was like, "Wow, it is?" "Yeah", he says, "check in the trunk, I bet theres still peanuts in there." I actually started to look in the trunk before it dawned on me... Man was that embarrasing, the whole freakin' shop was laughing at me.
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