Write-in Candidate

[wtm442]

I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE. HERE'S MY PLATFORM:

(1) Press 1 for English is immediately banned. English is the official language. Speak it or wait at the border until you can.

(2) We will immediately go into a two-year isolationist posture to straighten out the country's attitude.

NO imports, no exports. We will use the 'Wal-Mart' policy: 'If we ain't got it, you don't need it.'

(3) When imports are allowed, there will be a 100% import tax on it.

(4) All retired military personnel will be required to man one of our many observation towers on the southern border. (Six month tour) They will be under strict orders not to fire on SOUTHBOUND aliens.

(5) Social Security will immediately return to its original state. If you didn't put nuttin' in, you ain't getting' nuttin' out. Neither the president nor any other politician will not be able to touch it.

(6) Welfare - Checks will be handed out on Fridays at the end of the 40 hour school week and the successful completion of urinalysis and a passing grade.

(7) Professional Athletes --Steroids - The FIRST time you check positive you will be banned for life.

(8) Crime - We will adopt the Turkish method: The first time you steal, you lose your right hand. There will be no more life sentences -- if you are convicted of a Capitol Offense, you will be put to death by the same method you chose for your victim, gun, knife, strangulation, etc.

(9) One export will be allowed - Wheat -- The world needs to eat. A bushel of wheat will be the exact price of a barrel of oil.

(10) All foreign aid using American taxpayer money will immediately cease, and the saved money will pay off the national debt and ultimately lower taxes. When disasters occur around the world, we'll ask the American people if they want to donate to a disaster fund, and each citizen can make the decision whether it's a worthy cause.

(11) The Pledge of Allegiance will be said every day at school and every day in Congress -- right after a prayer.

(12) The National Anthem will be played at all appropriate ceremonies, sporting events, outings, etc. and when the Flag is presented during these periods and passes in front of you, military personnel will salute and citizens will place their right hand over their heart.

Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes, but a vote for me will get you 'better' than what you have, and a heck of a lot better than what you're gonna get.

[Ron61]

Warren.

It all sounds great. I didn't know that you were into writing fiction. Anyone who used any of those ideas would be kicked out of this country now. Darn, you are older than I thought to remember any of that stuff. But you have my vote.

Ron

[4RE KLR]

Warren,
Change #3 to 500%

Get ride of all Political aids. NO-ONE needs 85 aids to do their own job. If they need that many we don't need them.

Bring our soldiers home and protect our borders.

If you are here illegally NO free amnesty your butt gets sent to Afghanistan, no matter where you come from. No sneaking back from there!

American currency only

If you are caught in a lie in Washington as one of our representatives it is mandatory life in prison NO PAROLE!

Put the line item veto in place before ANY new legislation is passed.

If you misrepresent anything in this country as a political representative you loose 100% of your pension.

NO MORE PORK BARREL DEALS



This could go on for days....

[4RE KLR]

OH yea,

If your company fails, it fails NO BAILOUTS!

[wtm442]

Steve
I agree with everything except the import/export stuff. We export so much stuff that taking a 100% isolationist posture would be harmful in the "long run."

Also, just think of all the Moms in the world fighting over the few toys manufactured in USA. 95% are from China. Without toys, just think of all the little kids with nothing to do! Oh, the horror

Ron - I'm not that old .... I'm at least one dog year younger than you.

Oh, one other thing - TV ads ... no more drug ads and no more male impotency ads.

[392cobra]

Originally Posted by 4RE KLR

Warren,

If you are caught in a lie in Washington as one of our representatives it is mandatory life in prison NO PAROLE!

This could go on for days....

So,you want me to pay for their room & board plus medical care for the rest of their lives ?

You have something against the death penalty ?

[4RE KLR]

Fred,
Yep, That is why we talk about these things. I like your idea better.

Warren,
Yes, I think 500%.
here is why. If we make it so expensive Walmart will stop importing everything they sell. We as Americans will be able to go back to work building our goods here in the great ole USA. If it cost ten times more to import it than it does to make it here, it will be made here. Simple as that.

Look how many companies are abandoning their overseas operations because of the cost of shipping the goods to the USA. A lot of companies are bringing manufacturing back here just because of shipping cost. Imagine how many more would do the same with a 500% tax on imports.

Yes, I realize it would hurt. But we could set a given time table for it to be in full swing. Say 100% for year one, 200% for year two and so on. By the end of the fifth year we would import NOTHING!

[wtm442]

Originally Posted by 4RE KLR

Fred,
Yep, That is why we talk about these things. I like your idea better.

Warren,
Yes, I think 500%.
here is why. If we make it so expensive Walmart will stop importing everything they sell. We as Americans will be able to go back to work building our goods here in the great ole USA. If it cost ten times more to import it than it does to make it here, it will be made here. Simple as that.

Steve - who is going to pay for the unemployment benefits for millions (yes, millions) of people that will be laid off because their jobs are the results of our exports, when other countries start using the same import duties. Its a lot more complicated than that. We MUST work in the global economy. No country can "go it alone".


Fred - I agree that prison costs are thru the roof. They say it costs somewhere between 40 and $70K per year per inmate, depending upon the state and penitentiary. I would appoint that sheriff from Maracopa County Arizona as the head of all federal prisons. And we should "export" all illegal alien criminals back to where they came from.

When I'm elected, things will change! Mandatory naps for all people over 55. A Cobra in every garage. Free love. Obama will be my press secretary, because nearly all reporters love any $hit that flows out of his mouth. Newt Gingrich will be my vice president. And Hillary can wash my clothes.

Vote for ...



because BO scares the $hit out of me, and like it or not, I may not get enough write-in votes to be elected.

[wtm442]

In the year 2008, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the
United States, and said, 'Once again, the earth has become wicked and
over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me.

'Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few
good humans.'

He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, 'You have 6 months to build the
Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights.'
Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping in his yard
- but no Ark.

'Noah!' He roared, 'I'm about to start the rain! Where is the Ark ?'

'Forgive me, Lord,' begged Noah, 'but things have changed. I needed a
building permit. I've been arguing with the inspector about the need
for a sprinkler system. My neighbors claim that I've violated the
neighborhood zoning laws by building the Ark in my yard and exceeding
the height limitations. We had to go to the Development Appeal Board
for a decision.

'Then the Department of Transportation demanded a bond be posted for
the future costs of moving power lines and other overhead obstructions,
to clear the passage for the Ark 's move to the sea. I told them that
the sea would be coming to us, but they would hear nothing of it.

'Getting the wood was another problem. There's a ban on cutting local
trees in order to save the spotted owl. I tried to convince the
environmentalists that I needed the wood to save the owls - but no go!

'When I started gathering the animals, an animal rights group sued me.

'They insisted that I was confining wild animals against their will.
They argued the accommodations were too restrictive, and it was cruel
and inhumane to put so many animals in a confined space.

'Then the EPA ruled that I couldn't build the Ark until they'd
conducted an environmental impact study on your proposed flood.

'I'm still trying to resolve a complaint with the Human Rights
Commission on how many minorities I'm supposed to hire for my building
crew.

'Immigration and Naturalization are checking the green-card status of
most of the people who want to work.

'The trades unions say I can't use my sons. They insist I have to hire
only Union workers with Ark-building experience.

'To make matters worse, the IRS seized all my assets, claiming I'm
trying to leave the country illegally with endangered species.

'So, forgive me, Lord, but it would take at least 10 years for me to
finish this Ark. '

Suddenly the skies cleared, the sun began to shine, and a rainbow
stretched across the sky.

Noah looked up in wonder and asked, 'You mean you're not going to
destroy the world?'

'No,' said the Lord. 'Al Gore and the stupid Democrats in congress has beat me to it.'

[VRM]

Interesting - the cutting off of the hand is from Sharia law - I guess those horrible Muslims may have got something right after all! Sounds like a good idea to me...

Right on the import export - we will do better with the world as our market, and an educated workforce.

I would be happy to say the pledge in its original format, not the version as written by the Knights of Columbus. And any president who tries to make me say a prayer will find himself at the painful end of an assassins bullet.

Otherwise the platform is pretty good.

Steve

[Sharroll Celby]

6. Increase urinalysis to include alcohol and tobacco. Welfare applicants may substitute photographic proof of 40 blocks of streets swept and/or 40 incidents of graffiti covered up, in lieu of 40 hours of classroom.

and make them WALK up two flights of stairs to pick up their check.

[392cobra]

Originally Posted by wtm442

I HAVE DECIDED TO BECOME A WRITE-IN CANDIDATE.
Sorry if I stepped on anyone's toes, but a vote for me will get you 'better' than what you have, and a heck of a lot better than what you're gonna get.

Are you keeping your choice of Turtle as VP unwraps for now ?

Frenchy,The Ho Sisters and BB would like to endorse you on stage.

[wtm442]

Originally Posted by 392cobra

Are you keeping your choice of Turtle as VP unwraps for now ?

Nope. I already mentioned above, that my VP will be Newt Gingrich. Turtle will be my Transportation Secretary.

Originally Posted by 392cobra

Frenchy,The Ho Sisters and BB would like to endorse you on stage.

Glad to have Frenchy and the Ho Sisters on board right from the get go. Then I cannot be caught later on with a prostitute and be shamed into "political retirement". The Ho's can be my Secretary of Love. Frenchy plays a mean set of bongos, so she will be my Secretary of Music.

As far as BB is concerned, my "platform" is not that strong and I'd hate getting injured when the "stage" collapses. Of course, if BB has come into a lot of money lately, a rather large contribution could sway my mind. That also applies to all potential supporters and lobbyists. I can flip-flop with the best of then when money is involved.

[Ron61]

Warren,

If you post this on enough sites you may just get elected as most people are tired of the BS that has gone on far to long already. Obama wants to be known as Ayatollah Obama, and the rest aren't sure what they want except more money to waste on their friends.
If they want to pass a law that would help, then pass one limiting the darn campaigns to 6 months.

Ron

[wtm442]

I think the limit on campaigning for office in the UK is something like 2 months. I'd vote for that.

[wtm442]

My Fellow Americans. My political opponents claim that I'm almost as old as John McCain and Ron61. This is a lie, and completely false. I even have the support of young voters. They will be turning out in droves at the polling places where their mommies and daddies will be voting for me, the Weepublican candidate.

I am definitely not old, and I approved this message.

[Ron61]

My Gosh, you are almost as old as John McCain. You say that as if it means something. The first time I voted we threw rocks at the candidates and the one that was left standing was the winner. Actually maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea for this election. And I didn't notice you mention your house cleaner Hillery!

Ron