History 101

[Tony Radford]

For those of you who've forgotten how it all started:

History 101

For those that don't know about history ... Here is a condensed version:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the beer. These were the foundation of modern civilization and together were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals,

2. Conservatives.


Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the sewing, fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became known as girlie-men. Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the invention of group therapy, group hugs, and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of their women have higher testosterone levels than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer, mostly Bud, Shinner, Miller Lite, etc.. They eat red meat (usually cooked rare, or at worse medium rare) and still provide for their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks, construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate executives, athletes, Soldiers, airline pilots, Bama fans, and generally anyone who works productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing and would prefer for the government to make all the decisions for them. They like to govern the producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history:

[cobra bill]

Well that was amusing, all be it closed minded! You do know that America was founded by liberalism, the conservatives wanted to stay under the King, maybe why you guys like King George so much. Well us liberals don't like being ruled by a king that thinks only the wealthy should have a voice and the government should only work for the wealthy, our for fathers wrote into the constitution, we the people, for the people and by the people in order to form a more perfect union, that seems to be lost in the conservative movement.
We have tried the great conservative movement. Ever since Reagan we have voted against our own best interests, think maybe you guys were right, but after 30 years of this experiment of allowing corporations to rule we find ourselves where we are. I think Americans have woken up to the reality that this is no longer a government of the people and by people, it's a government of the corporation for the corporation, and the people be damned.
There are those of you out there that are stuck in this fantasy that you too will become wealthy one day, when in reality it has become more disparaging over the years and much less likely you ever will. Maybe it's in the beer you drink, I'm not at all sure! I do know that I have to change the way I vote, I used to think the best way the system worked was to have a Republican in the executive office, and the house and senate controlled by the Democrats, for checks and balances this seem to work, and when the republicans took the house and senate it was time for a democratic president.
This too worked well, but you guys thought and convinced enough people that it was a good idea if your party ruled all,
well that didn't work out so well except for the wealthy and greedy. This was a disaster of biblical proportion, now its time to set things straight. Our plan is to put progressive democrats in power and not just ignore them after the election but to ride their asses the whole way, this has already started and for those dems that don't listen, we are putting in money and time to oust them and put in people that will work for us.
We can no longer tolerate an electorate that does not have the interest of the people first.
The disparity of wealth in this country is coming close to starting a revolution, this has happened many times in history, and when it becomes so intolerant, the masses will always stand up and take it back, I only hope we can achieve this in a manner unlike most revolutions that have occurred such as the French revolution, we do not need that kind of bloodshed. If we go back to the federalist papers and the constitution for guidance it is clear what needs to be done.

[computerworks]

Cobra Bill is not in Georgia and the topic belongs in the Lounge.

thanks
ron
ClubCobra Moderator

[cobra de capell]

CobraBill's in Kansas ripping off the government by posting here all day.

[computerworks]

One more personal shot and you'll find it hard to log back in.

....not kidding around.

thanks

[Cobrabill]

CDC put a space between "Cobra" and Bill" when not referring to me.Thanks.

[cobra bill]

Cobra Bill is off on Monday's

[turnpike boy]

.......and Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, and......off is the word, all right.

One is posted in obvious jest - even a blind man could see that. The retort is so self-important, so arrogant that it's equally impossible to take it seriously.

I'm tired of popcorn...anybody got potato chips?

[computerworks]

...you talkin' to me?

[Joe Wicked]

LMAO. Now that is funny Cobrabill posts the wrong name when asking someone to be sure to post the name correctly when referring to cobra bill.

I now return you to your daily dose of irony.

[Cobrabill]

Originally Posted by Joe Wicked

LMAO. Now that is funny Cobrabill posts the wrong name when asking someone to be sure to post the name correctly when referring to cobra bill.

I now return you to your daily dose of irony.

One more time?

[FWB]

LMAO.................wow

[turnpike boy]

Originally Posted by computerworks

...you talkin' to me?

Only iffn you got the chips.

But, was referring to Tony's and cobra bill's posts.

[mdmull]

"Disaster of Biblical Proportions" - I think some reading of the Bible is in order, not the Federalist papers.

[csx4910]

Cobra Bill (with a space),
I have not chimed in much on these political threads but since you mentioned biblical proportions I could'd resist. Now before I start I am not a fan of George Bush and although I vote republican most of time John mcCain does not impress me much either (could we not of come up with a better candidate in 8 years?). But remember this, the mess in the last 2 years (economy, housing etc)has happened with a democratic congress that has a lower approval rating than Bush and also Voted for the war along with him. A large part of this mess no one wants to admit has been caused by peoples own greed not the goevernment or the banks. Colin Powell was one of the Generals who testified in front of congress about the fact we had "first hand documented proof" of Sadam's chemical weapons so I don't want to hear how this is all Bush's fault.

If you think for one second that instead of big corporations who have fleeced america(and should be taken behind the woodshed and beaten within an inch of their life) are worse than what a "Big Government" that tells you it will take care of all of your problems is you will be in for a rude awakening. I agree that unbridled, unregulated capitalism is not the answer but neither is socialism. That is exactly what will happen in the next 4 years. The people want that because 40% of Americans pay NO TAX (on welfare, no job, college student etc) so of course they want to redistribute wealth. They get something for nothing.

For me personally I agree we should not be giving out corporate welfare to these huge companies but I also don't think we should be handing in out for free to the people that don't want to work for a living or are not already paying taxes. I didn't work the last 20 years at 60 hours a week and the last 3 years since I started my company working 16 hour days to have it be stolen from me to give it to the deadbeats of our society. Should we be helping them - ABSOLUTELY but with a hand up not a hand out. Just look at the communist countires (sorry I be socialistic) countries like Russia, China, North Korea and ask yourself if you want the government that involoved in you being able to make a life. (not just a living).
CSX 4910