I almost shot a young man on Friday night (long)

[Buzz]

It's carnival season down here so a buddy and I decided to rent a corporate box at the local stadium and invite a bunch of friends to party it up while watching big steel band competition. The show was supposed to end around 11pm and the plan was for most of us to head back and finish off the night at my restaurant.

Well, after a few rain delays at the stadium, it was almost 2am by the time a small group of us got back to the lounge and staked out a corner of the balcony. I had borrowed two of my waitresses to serve drinks and eats at the show so they were tired, as was the chef, the manager and the rest of the staff after a long, busy night. I told them to wrap it up and head home and I would hang out with my group and lock up when we were done.

Close to 4am, we finally called it a night and I headed for home - normally a quick 10 minute drive on the quiet late night roads. Not this time around though - I soon ran smack into a big traffic jam as hundreds of young people were just leaving a big dance party at a warehouse type joint in the middle of a nearby industrial park. Parked cars lined both sides of the road and traffic was at a standstill as crowds of people headed for their vehicles and drivers were doing u-turns and 3 pointers and generally snarling things up.

I was the only vehicle heading north - everyone else was either heading south or trying to get turned around. As I sat there watching the rowdy, excited kids - mostly teens and early 20's - stream by, I silently hoped I would pass through without incident and I made a conscious promise to myself not to allow my temper to get out of hand if faced with any minor provocation like a slap on my windshield or some other BS that is likely to happen in a crowd of liquored up young people at four in the morning.

I was able to ease along another hundred yards or so and I came up behind an older blacked-out 3 series BMW that seemed to be stopped for no reason. I beeped my horn and a guy got out of the back seat and walked over to a roadside group shouting at me to relax and take my effin' time. I ignored him and was just happy to see the car start moving as it wouldn't be much further until I was home free. The BMW driver began backing up a bit to pull a u-turn, which was fine - there was plenty of room between us. Plenty wasn't enough, though, and before I could blow the horn the bimmer's rear light crunched against my front bumper.

I expected the driver to stop and get out to see the damage, but no - the car just kept trying to finish the turn, hampered by traffic in the opposite lane. After an attempted robbery incident a few years ago, I always drive home with my pistol in my lap, chambered of course, and positioned for a quick, easy presentation. Aware of the potential volatility of the situation, I took a deep breath to check my rising anger, holstered the gun (OWB strong side, covered by a loose untucked shirt), got out and walked up to the driver's window.

The tinted window came down and I was taken aback to see a pretty young woman behind the wheel. There was no damage to the heavy brush guard and steel bumper on my 4-runner and I was about to ask her if she needed some help, but before I could say anything she rasped "What's your f--king problem?!" My blood went instantly to simmer and I said "You hit my vehicle - that's my friggin' problem!" At that point, everything went south.

When I got out of the vehicle, I'd kept an eye on the crowd as they were naturally drawn by the accident. I wasn't too worried about that, but my eyes were scanning for the guy who had exited the car. Not to disappoint, he exploded forward cursing and shouting that I have no right to speak that way to his friend. I told him to calm down and keep his distance, this is between me and the driver of the vehicle that hit me. He had a bunch of support though, as two other guys joined him and a serious looking character got out of a fancy black SUV and joined in the chorus of curses and threats. He was a largish fellow, wearing a bomber jacket and a few pounds of gold around his neck. Drug dealer, I thought.

Fortified now with courage, the first guy strode towards me, one hand raised saying he was going to slap my face. I had my vehicle at my back and cars and hostile kids everywhere else. I told him to stay back but I knew he would keep coming and I lunged forward and hit him hard with a two handed thrust high on his chest. He fell back on his ass, slamming into the wheel of the BMW. He stayed down, holding the back of his head and started retching like he was going to puke. The dealer type pulled a long shank out of his jacket and started towards me saying he was going to "open up my belly" but I drew the gun and pointed it at his chest. He stopped advancing but continued waving the shank and threatening, shouting to the crowd that I would never have the guts to pull the trigger. He was wrong. My finger was on the trigger and he was less than 12 feet away. I was fully committed to firing if he advanced another step.

The situation was out of hand, the crowd was into it and I knew there was at least one other hostile guy in the group. Sure enough, the dealer glanced to my right and I noticed another punk edging up behind me along the side of my vehicle. I whipped the gun around one handed and pointed at his face, keeping my left hand pointed forward at the other guy. He stumbled back and I whipped it back towards the first guy with the shank. My finger was tightened past the trigger safety and I was on the verge of firing. If he moved I would shoot. He didn't and I quickly shifted aim back towards the second guy but he ducked into the crowd and people around him scattered. I swung back to the dealer and shouted "F--king drop it! Now!" He cursed back and continued to hold the shank up high and shouted towards the crowd "Lets kill that man! He'll never shoot that gun!" It was decision time for me - I was pointing squarely at his sternum and my finger was tight on the trigger.

Just then another man - a Rasta in a long robe-type garment addressed the guy by name and told him to stop being a fool - put the weapon down before he gets killed. He pointed to me and said "I know that man, he's a righteous fella, boy, but he's going to shoot your ass!" I had not a clue who he was, but he kept saying he knows me, I'm a good man and that the guy better back down if he doesn't want to die. It worked. He lowered the shank but continued making a case that I had abused his female friend. The girl chimed in shouting that I'd just walked up to her car and started cussing her off and now I'm looking to shoot somebody.

I had lowered the gun to my side and said "Listen! She hit my vehicle and continued driving. She started with the verbal abuse when I approached her and I only drew the gun when this guy threatened me with a weapon." The rasta told the guy he was wrong, they spoke for a second and he hugged him and said "Go home. Go home."
The fellow helped his fallen friend into his vehicle, they started off and the crowd began to move on. I made a mental note of his name and license plate, holstered my pistol, climbed in and breathed a long sigh of relief. There were no more cars in front of me, only people, and I was happy to be getting out of there and finally heading home. But it wasn't over yet.

Just as I was about to start moving, four SSU (Special Services Unit) men in vests and full camo gear surrounded my vehicle, pointing M16's and ordered me to exit. I eased into park and slowly stepped out, hands high. I heard a female voice say "Yes that's him! He's the one with the gun!"

Rifles aimed, they ordered me to place my hands on the vehicle. I often train and shoot with SSU guys and I'm quite close to a couple of the officers but I didn't recognize any of these guys. I complied and told them I'm licensed. The one in charged demanded to see the license and I said "Wallet. Left front pocket."

They retrieved the wallet and asked where the gun was. I told them it was in the holster on my right side and one guy lifted my shirt and started tugging on the grip. The holster is a retention type with a thumb release and even though I tried to explain, he was having no success freeing it and just kept tugging. I said "Look, I just got away from a guy who wanted to cut me open and now I feel like I'm about to be shot in the leg with my own gun. It's a Glock - no safety - and it's chambered - please be careful!" They gave up and told me to take it out and hand it over. I turned around and said not a flippin' chance while rifles are pointed at me. I kept my hands up.

They looked at each other and the one in charge asked to see the license. My family name is fairly well known but if he recognized it, it didn't show at all as he read the particulars aloud. A fellow in the crowd said "That's Buzz (my nickname), You guys don't know Buzz?" He looked up and said "You're Buzz?" I nodded and he seemed to relax and signalled the others to lower the rifles.

He asked me to hand over the gun and I complied, carefully holding it by the end of the grip between thumb and index finger. They immediately removed the magazine and cleared the chamber. I asked them if I needed to call my lawyer. He half smiled and said "Just tell us what happened." I did, and stressed that IMO, I exercised commendable restraint - someone else would have shot that guy's ass, and justifiably so as well. He jotted some notes and said "Sir we are returning your firearm and magazine, but please don't load and chamber it until you are clear of the area."

Just then someone ran up and shouted "Fight!" and the officer nodded at me as they took off in the direction of another commotion further up the road. As I slowly drove by a couple of minutes later, I saw one of the SSU guys manhandling a huge fellow with a torn shirt and a bloody head. Another one gave a broad grin and saluted me when I passed. I nodded wearily, got to open road and finally, finally headed for home.

My heart rate gradually returned to normal as I played with the dogs in the yard. The sun was not quite risen yet, but birds were chirping already and I reflected on how differently things could have turned out, particularly if I had not been armed and, perhaps more importantly, practiced and trained.

[Ron61]

Darn Buzz,

That is some story and I am happy that you got away without having to shoot. That sounds as if things there could gave gotten out of control really fast.

Take care and watch which streets you drive on for a few days until that fool cools off.


Ron

[trularin]

Well, Buzz you certainly top the, "weekend at Buzz's place" list of poop that makes life what it is.

Dang dude, I am not sure I want to come visit. I am glad you are safe and sound after this!

[fsstnotch]

I couldn't even imagine the outcome had you not had the gun. That's our society! Great isn't it?

[Bobcat]

And I thought I had an interesting weekend .... really glad for you it didn`t escalate any further . However , as Ron61 said ... you might want to change your route for a time and become unpredictable ... you never know .

[4RE KLR]

Yea, I'da shot the guy

Just kiddin,
Great restraint indeed Buzz, Congrats on getting out alive and not killing the provoker.


You done good!

[Buzz]

Thanks guys. Can't really change the route as that is the one and only main road between the area I live in and just about everything else. There is an old 4X4 trail along the north east coast that's a blast in itself but certainly not recommended for commuting!

I don't anticipate any further problems around the same area, as 99% of those there were from different parts. People gather from far and wide for these events.

I have already made some calls looking into the main character and it seems he is "a person of interest" with dubious means of support for his lifestyle, associates with suspected criminals but has no actual rap sheet of his own. My police contacts asked me if I want to persue the matter but after discussing it with them, it would likely be a clusterf--k of conflicting accounts without a decisive result. They figure it's only a matter of time before they nail him on something concrete or one of his peers does him in as flamboyant guys in the drug business who draw attention to themselves don't tend to last very long. None of the "witnesses" stuck around when the SSU guys arrived - even the girl was long gone by the time I was allowed to turn around.

It's still safe to visit, Tru! Just keep away from throngs of drunk kids leaving a carnival party at 4am!
The powers that be recognized the recipe for trouble which is why the SSU were deployed to the area.

[trularin]

Should I make the trip, I'm looking you up first.

[Joe Wicked]

Congrats on your composure Buzz. I don't know that I would have been able to do as good of a job as you did. I don't think it could have been done better.

[PatBuckley]

I'm glad you came out of that OK, Buzz.

[lineslinger]

Whoa, very spooky story Buzz. Good for you on staying under control...and staying alive.

[Jamo]

Ya done good, my man.

Another assample of why Glocks make me nervous.

[Buzz]

Originally Posted by Jamo

Ya done good, my man.

Another assample of why Glocks make me nervous.

Lol! Yes Buddy - the whole "trigger safety" thing is a bit of a silly joke that I just don't get. You really need to follow "the rules" with Glocks.

It's the Black & Decker tool of the gun world though - plain butt-ugly, but reliable and as dispassionately functional as a hammer. It'll eat anything you feed it and you just know it will go bang every time you pull the trigger.




I still get a bit of an adrenaline spike every time I think about the incident, and I've thought about it a lot in an attempt to do a more critical analysis of myself and the way I functioned.

In terms of my technical response to the actual physical attack and being threatened with a deadly weapon - assessing the threat, acting decisively, etc - all fine. But I have to admit that I end up giving myself a big "F" overall. While it's good that all the training and practice drills actually work in the real world, I had given up control of the situation from the getgo. From the very beginning, I was reacting to the words and actions of antagonists. They effectively had more actual control of the whole scenario than I did and had me reacting to their decisions.

My first mistake began when the girl bumped my car. I had already assessed the situation as a potentially volatile one, but like Pavlov's dog responding to the dinner bell, my conditioned response - even though I could tell that there was no meaningful damage to my battle scarred bush guard - was to do the same thing I would have done in a mall parking lot in the middle of the day: get out and confront the driver.

I made my second mistake when that action was met with defiance; Again, I defaulted to an automatic, conditioned response, became pissed off and expressed my anger verbally. I like to think of myself as a basically good, open-minded person who will help anyone if I can; but protective of my person and family and with little tolerance for dishonesty and unprovoked aggression. That may sound great and all, but in reality it's no more than a stupid, ego driven issue when it takes precedence over practical reasoning and eclipses the reality that no blanket "personality policy" can suffice in every unique situation.

From that point forward, yes - the conditioned responses paid off. Anticipate the attack. Hit hard, fast and more importantly,hit first. Quick, clean draw. Sight picture. Situational awareness. Weapon control. Blah blah blah. Remain calm, non-threatening, and cooperative with the SSU. I did everything as I had trained and conditioned myself to do except the biggest, most important thing of all: Exercise wisdom and sound judgement.

The vehicular contact was technically inconsequential to me. She was the one with the damaged car and I could have let her play her own hand, including driving away like it never happened. The downside to that is that she could have complained after the fact to the police that I had rear ended her, leaving me to explain why I didn't react to being hit. The probability and seriousness of that, however, weigh lightly against what went down when I chose to confront.

Having made the first blunder, I could have reacted to her hostility with a disarming smile and an offer to help her get her car turned around. It may have worked and it may have elicited the same response as before. Either way, I still could have ended up walking away without further escalation. The first guy might still have reacted to me just for talking to her, but having not crossed the line of being visibly angry, I would have had the opportunity to deescalate by saying "Sorry, I was just trying to help." That would have a far better chance of success than having to back down from an angered position which brings up the risk of triggering an instinctive aggressive reaction to a perception of fear or weakness on my part. My automated, unthinking reaction didn't allow me these options.

I ended up surviving the encounter from two important points of view.

One - I suffered no physical harm.

Two - I escaped the protracted consequences of killing a man.

True as it may be that life in the tropics renders the potential legal trauma theoretically less devastating than it would be if it happened in the US for example; there are other issues like retaliation from his peers or family so I was still spared a seriously life altering experience. Good in that regard, but bad in the sense that everything - from the start to the final outcome - was dictated and controlled by other people. I was like a puppet on a string and my life could have been drastically altered at the whim of of another person, all because I allowed myself to be manipulated into a position I should never have gotten into had I maintained control over my reactions.

I had a post-workout breakfast with a sage old friend for whom I have tremendous respect. He is one of these people who has seen and done things most people can't even imagine in military, civilian and "in between" capacities and he is a dedicated old disciple of life, philosophy, fitness and the fighting arts. I ran my thoughts by him and after listening quietly, he thoughtfully concurred with my conclusions.

He said that assessing me strictly from the point of view of my effectiveness as a "survivor of life" (his words, not mine - ); I am like a kid who just graduated from boot camp with decent marks. But because I am lacking in wisdom and spiritual development, however, all of my social conditioning and training have only made me into a sharpened stick - a tool that is capable of doing useful things, but without the tempering and refinement of wisdon and total conscious control, an instrument nonetheless that can be manipulated by others into mayhem and self destruction. He pointed out that given my reliance on a poorly analyzed sense of self righteousness and amateurishly applied "principles", a skillful manipulator bent on my destruction could easily make me destroy myself for him without lifting a finger against me physically, and until I graduate to a higher level of awareness and control, I remain woefully vulnerable to to the actions of others.

It was a humbling report, and possibly a bit on the heavy side, but he is basically right. He did also say that examining my actions and coming to the conclusions I did were a good sign and a huge step in the right direction though, and that it is up to me now to decide whether I should continue through life as before and possibly survive just fine; or to treat this as the lesson it was and retrain myself to make damn sure I survive just fine.

Sorry for the long winded introspective analysis, but this whole thing has been rather thought provoking to say the very least .

[Jamo]

Sorry for sharing? Are you kidding? At least you're here to tap the keys.

I've had to drive and walk through dozens of picket lines and watch negotiation sessions break down into fistfights on a regular basis (usually Teamsters ) for the last three decades or so. Being the employers' negotiator...I am usually the target for all manner of sh!t (I'm damn good a ducking flying folding chairs). I've driven into dark labor camps or bad streets at all hours of the night to contact witnesses. I am scared sh!tless on a regular phuking basis.

That's what it is...nothing more, nothing less. You get throught it any damn way you can...and you did. And you get the benefit of an added notch of experience that you get to learn from...that is gold.

[Paul F]

I like your secondary analysis Buzz. It points out that good training is a big help to prevent those instinctive reactions to situations that are new to us.

My observation is that a guy with a knife threatened to kill a guy.
A guy with a pistol almost killed a guy.
A bunch of guys with rifles might have killed a guy.
A guy with weapons training almost killed a guy by severing his leg artery with his own weapon.
A guy with no weapons made the peace.

[Buzz]

Originally Posted by Paul F

I like your secondary analysis Buzz. It points out that good training is a big help to prevent those instinctive reactions to situations that are new to us.

My observation is that a guy with a knife threatened to kill a guy.
A guy with a pistol almost killed a guy.
A bunch of guys with rifles might have killed a guy.
A guy with weapons training almost killed a guy by severing his leg artery with his own weapon.
A guy with no weapons made the peace.

Hi Paul. I agree that anyone whose profession places him or her at elevated risk of robbery or assault should recieve some level of training not only in methods of self defense (armed and unarmed) but also in conflict management and negotiation.

I don't necessarily agree though, with the POV that in my scenario the weapon was the common denominator or root cause of all the evil. I view weapons of any type as mere tools, incapable of good, evil or initiating any action on their own. It is always the person weilding the tool (or not) who has ultimate responsibility for the good or evil that he commits.

Also, you left out the first two important steps in the actual escalation:

A guy with no weapons attacked a guy with a concealed pistol.

A guy with a concealed pistol repelled an attack from a guy with no weapon without drawing his pistol.

I am not happy that my early decisions helped place me into a deadly situation, but the fact that I was armed had no bearing on that. I would have gotten out and approached the driver regardless. As it did pan out, I am glad that I was armed, trained and practiced with my pistol. I'm fine with unarmed combat so I still would have handled the first guy easily. Defending successfully against the armed guy and his other cohort (possibly more than one) in an unfriendly crowd would have been unlikely at best. In that scenario, the first line of your synopsis would probably read:

A guy with no weapons helps a guy with a knife to kill a guy with no weapons.

[Rick Parker]

I am scared sh!tless on a regular phuking basis.

I remember that look Jamo at the Auto X when you had your Vette and Pat showed up with the WRX.

[Buzz]

Lol! How did the Vette end up doing against the WRX?

[Jamo]

Ahem...I'm pretty sure Buckley could've beat me in a Prius.

[lineslinger]

I would bet there are a lot of readers who have put themselves mentally into such a spot as the one you survived. Any observations you might offer would be ones I would certainly want to take heed of.
In other words what Jamo said..."Sorry for sharing? Are you kidding?"

Your aftermath analysis is the other, less scary half of the episode Buzz. I for one appreciate the insight you offer after the fact. Just maybe, someone can take a point of lesson learned from what happened with you, and your introspective "after" thoughts, and utilize it in a positive way.
Please, if so inclined, continue to share those thoughts and feelings.