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Kirkham Motorsports

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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 09-04-2003, 07:58 AM
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Default Typical Cobra Owner . . . can you relate?

I know I have too much horsepower because:


1. The emissions test guy starts laughing as soon as I pull onto the rollers.
2. I can't drive my car in the rain.
3. My 'significant other' is afraid to drive my car.
4. I am afraid to drive my car.
5. I spend more on tires than on food.
6. I spend more on car insurance than on house payments.
7. I looked in a state police car and saw a picture of my car taped to the dash.
8. I throw my underwear in the garbage rather than the hamper.
9. I have to go to the track to buy gas.
10. My mechanic names the new wing of his shop after me.
11. Jacques Villeneuve and Michael Schumacher wave me by.
12. I can make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.
13. I'm tempted to wear my fire suit just to drive to the office.
14. Red signal lights shift to green as I'm approaching then shift back to red as I'm receding.
15. I arrive sometimes before I left.
16. I get pulled over for doing 155 in a 35 but the cops let me go "when I let them look under the hood."
17. I removed the stereo system to save 6 lb. of weight.
18. I am not allowed to run in the Silver State Challenge.
19. I get an anonymous phone call asking if I'm interested in being in the Cannonball Run.
20. My face looks like I'm riding a NASA centrifuge when I drive the car.
22. I need a parachute for braking.
23. 'significant other' won't even ride in the car.
24 There is no possible way to "sneak out" of my neighborhood at 6 am.
25. My pets scramble for their hiding spots as soon as the garage door is opened. (Pets, and all the neighbors...)
26. Family photos throughout the house are replaced with life-sized posters of my car.
27. Fuel is delivered to my home: in 55 gallon drums!
28. I carry earplugs in my car.
29. The only spot on the car which receives any regular cleaning is the windshield. (what else is there to clean???)
30. I find out that side mirrors don't hold up at speeds exceeding 145 mph.

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"If you can make black marks on a straight from the time you turn out of a corner until the braking point of the next turn, then you have enough HORSEPOWER." Mark Donohue
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Old 09-04-2003, 10:06 AM
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#28,,,,,,,,I do.

Ernie
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Old 09-04-2003, 10:08 AM
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I watch the weather channel a lot!!!
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Old 09-04-2003, 10:28 AM
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Excellent!!!

Rich
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Old 09-04-2003, 12:18 PM
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I resemble those remarks!

Paul
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Old 09-04-2003, 12:22 PM
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31. (for the Star Trek fans, of which I'm not) My speedo goes to "Warp Drive"!!
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Last edited by EarlsflyinCobra; 09-04-2003 at 12:25 PM..
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Old 09-04-2003, 12:42 PM
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EarlsflyinCobra, you look alot like Mr Fixit...
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Old 09-04-2003, 01:05 PM
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When you wake up early on a Sunday morning and don't even think about waking up your wife. You head straight to the garage and wonder how much traffic will be out this early on a Sunday morning...

David
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Old 09-04-2003, 01:30 PM
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Default Heh, heh,...

Velly funny Dr Jones...

David.... the cobra is parked directly below the bedroom, in the garage. How could a 514 starting up NOT wake my lady, or even maybe the dead in the nearby cemetary?
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Old 09-04-2003, 02:10 PM
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Before we were married, I had trouble sneaking away from my in-laws house at 3am since the driveway was next to my mother-in-law's bedroom. Do you know how hard it is to push a car on soft gravel?
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Old 09-04-2003, 02:18 PM
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Yeah, Mr. Fixit was kind enough to allow me to use "his" avitar with "my" quote.....Like i said, on another thread, he comes through again and again....
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Last edited by EarlsflyinCobra; 09-04-2003 at 02:57 PM..
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Old 09-04-2003, 04:01 PM
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I would change your statement to "I know I have alot of horsepower" instead of "I have too much horsepower." "Too much horsepower" is always more than I have whatever I have.

However, I do relate with the change noted above.
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Old 09-04-2003, 04:13 PM
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I don't think there is such a thing as a "Typical? Cobra owner, but I can relate to the above.

My speedometer must be obsolete already, it's calibrated in Mach, and only goes to 1.4. And the Cop not only wanted to look under the hood, but take it for a drive as well. Of course I declined.
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Old 09-04-2003, 07:41 PM
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You know how Hal does it!

He pushes the "Great Stroker" out by hand, away from the house, carefully planning his escape before he "tickles" the accusump and fires the beast up.

Ernie
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Old 09-04-2003, 09:18 PM
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Quote:
Originally posted by EarlsflyinCobra


31. (for the Star Trek fans, of which I'm not) My speedo goes to "Warp Drive"!!
32. For you "Spinal Tap" fans, of which I am) My speedo goes to 11.
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Old 09-04-2003, 11:46 PM
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Default and 33, 34, 35


33. "When I step on it, I bet you can't touch the dash"

34. "Check this out, here comes the tunnel... ... ... Wow!"

35. "Watch out for the sidepipe, don't burn your leg getting out!"


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Last edited by decooney; 09-04-2003 at 11:48 PM..
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Old 09-05-2003, 05:03 AM
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#36 - Saying "zero to sixty" takes longer than actually doing it.

Jim
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Old 09-05-2003, 07:14 AM
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33. Your neighbors give you their extra key fobs to shut off their car alarms after you drive by.
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