Big Pig!!!

[Captain Speed]

Just crusing along out in the country on Sat. night in the dark going the speed limit of course ( about 65) by myself when I saw a HUGH WILD PIG crossing the road in front of me. He was only 50 ft. in front . Weighed at least as much a my car and was almost as big. The main problem was the pig was black making it almost impossable to see in the dark. I swerved and just missed the pig by about two feet. Almost lost the car in the ditch on the two lane road. This is something EVERYONE should watch for, I never thought I would almost brodside my next meal!!!

[Ray Russell]

Was this pig anywhere close to Hooters? It could've been around the time for the waitresses to change shifts!

[gsharapa]

Pigs in Rockwall? Get your gun out.....

[Hal Copple]

I recall from many years ago, that my first wife was moving down that way after she ran off with a lawyer. Was the pig really nasty and mean looking?

[Ed Csoltko]

Talk about road kill, several weeks ago Tony and I were cruising to Wimberly and we passed a dead cow in a ditch. I wonder who hit it, and what damage was done to the car or truck.

[jrussell]

Wow, that little experience should have REALLY checked out your seat belts! I can just picture you coming home...... "Hey, come check out my new hood ornament"!
Geez, that is a sobering story, nad we should ALL remember that there are lots of Large things of all shapes and sizes out there after dark that can/will do exterme amounts of damage to our cars.
Paul, you had a good co-pilot with you at that point!
Whew.
John Russell

[Aussie Mike]

Did he have a Radar gun pointed at you?

[SilverCobra]

Paul - I believe that you can set your external cooling fans for either "sliced" or "chopped" Barbeque. A man in Cobra who "Brings home the Bacon" takes on a whole new meaning?

[Fred Douglass]

This is familiar territory for NE huntahs:
I used to "point game" for "hunters" from Lynn, Saugus, Somahvile and other garden-spots nath of Bahstin. My partner in this endeavor was Jace Standish, no finer wilderness guide exists.

Our drill was as follows. Dun field-jackets, wool spats and Muk-luks(?) or "Bear-paws", a silent-trained Malemute (?) dog, a .303 Lee-Enfiled Mark 5 Jungle Carbine for me (a good brush-gun, but about as accurate as a Frisbee) and a .30-30 over-under Winchester lever(!?) action for Jace. How a lever action fed that two-bore machine, I'd like to know (B-in-B, you there?) My gun had the 23" barrel (hmmm), flash-hider and the fabled Malay or "Asiatic" stock. The latter meant you had to pull it back another 3", or it was like Larry Csonka stiff-arming a FS in the shoulder. With 245 deer-tip loads...well, you can imagine,

We'd meet and greet our party (most of whom had breath like mince-pie at 0730 a.m.!) and spot them astern. Jace and I would then walk up the vales, toward a deer we'd sighted earlier. We'd work past him (spotting on his breath), jump the ridge and spook him back toward our "hunters". You KNOW what was next! We had about 15 seconds to ass-hug a big pine tree before the fusilade erupted.

We'd call "cease fire", then set off on the spoor, in order to dispatch the poor gut-shot hind. Now, class, I know you're about to ask: "WHERE'S THE PORK?" Wel-l-l-l here's the Rest of the Story!

It seems, sometime around the 1890s, a local rich-boy imported a Noachian Cornucopia of game from Yurp. Among these stalwart beasties were European Deer-Elk and...and...yes, Stickle-back Boar. Um. Good choice.

Keep your javelinas, Poppy, an' SIT DOWN! THESE boys are steam-powered mountain-engine locomotives! I once saw one DISASSEMBLE a stone wall trying to get a chipmunk! They look like wart-hogs--you know half-head---all balls and tusks your Uncle Hiram could only dream about. 150 lbs. of fast-trot, poop-your-panties-polka dance-callers. They usually lie doggo, until you've walked PAST them. Can you saw "femural artery" class? (See "Scorebox" below).

How's Piggy fit in here---weren't we stalking deer? Okay. On this particular day, we'd finished off a deer and called the hunting party forward to dress him out. We made them lock and stack arms (Duh, right?). Jace and I let the Malemute run off some steam, up the vale a bit, toward a copse of Scotch Pine. Little did we know that the pine contained Mr. Piggy, who was awakening to the odor of the deer innards 300 yds south. Puts the dog upwind, too, eh?

Jace and I are up on parallel eskers (snow's thinner there and we were spooking deer AWAY from the "hunters" south of us). The dog's got 100 feet or so on us. We-l-l-l we're chambers-dry ("thumb-up-the-...." mode). And---and---you know what's next.

Malemute meets Piggy. (Olfactorily-challeng- ed dog?) Piggy E-FREAKIN'-RUPTS outta that pine, brushes the LUCKY dog aside (these boys have tusks you could hang your snowmobile on!). The general store at Francestown kept score back then---since 1919: Humans 59, Pigs 9....LUCKY DOG.

Piggy comes out of there like a late freight. Jace and I slide down in front of Mr. Piggy (protect the dog, who's being REALLY smart about now, and protect the hunters, who are quite visible and clearly "boar-sighted" [sorry, had to] by now). Heart rate? Priceless. I'm point, sliding sideways and damn near soiling myself.

My first shot breaks Piggy's front left wheel. By the way, the Lee-Enfield is the FASTEST bolt action in the world. I'll put $100 on the table--pick it up if you can roll one in quicker--note I didn't say "aim and fire"--just rack one in. Warren Commission, Mauser, Oswald---my ass.

My second shot hit the f%cking Chateau Frontenac in Key-bec! Jace chimed in and BOOMED one off the pig's head. Remember gators' heads (back when the Gators were Republicans)? Like a gothic arch or an upturned boat---they shed bullets like rain. Ditto Piggy's pate.

Jaces' eyes are like boiled eggs. Piggy turns into him.("Who gimme that migraine?") Oh, baby. Jace's final shot goes through the mandible and heart-shoots the hog. The pig STILL churns on, up the slight rise, a tusk hooks into Jaces wool gaiter, spins the pig out and drops Jace like a leg-whip. The pig raises his head, and, clearly dying, eyes Jason with dead malevolence. (Goose- bumps writing this today). Remember "blood in the eye"? Guttating capillary blood, pooling in the tear ducts? No kiddin'--it's true. Jesus Wept, what a pig!

Do I hunt any more? Hell, I can't even look a pork chop in the eye! That pig HAD to be a Marine!!! Dead Gospel story.

[67Cobra]

Originally posted by Hal Copple
I recall from many years ago, that my first wife was moving down that way after she ran off with a lawyer. Was the pig really nasty and mean looking?

Wife or lawyer?

[Back in Black]

Was actually the 2003 congressional budget plan...

[Excaliber]

Never saw a pig on the highway here, but there are lots of them in the "woods". More than a few hunters have been taken by the PIGS, they can get quite nasty.

Ernie

[A Snake]

Here in Oregon, it's deer on the road at night. Our twisty coastal roads don't allow much time to react. I've bumped one myself. Spooked hell out of me and bruised the deer's butt! The old doe ran off and I just sat there, trying to figure out where I put my extra shorts.

Think of how that would play out if a Cobra broad sided a deer. Right over the hood and through the windshield (and driver). Probably same for piggy.

Al

[casaleenie]

Fred,

That was worth all the time and effort to read. I'm still smiling...
I especially liked the reference to YURP

[Fred Douglass]

Casaleenie---thank you.
Par Usuel--I neglected to mention that Goffstown, Francestown and Crotched Mountain are in southern New Hampshire!
Recently, I've been back there to see if it' been ruined by developers (most sane people live in NH---and work in Bastinn). This gives them a 50-minute commute and (until recently) no property taxes. I'll be honest, I was up there looking to buy a "spoiler strip"---maybe 2 miles by 12 feet---you know the routine. Turns out NH AG said "NFW" to that little idea (still with me?) BUTT I interviewed an old pal who is a bow-bear-hunter (shuffle the words as need be). He said black BEARS even avoid the piggies---and what a meal that would be for a bayuh!

"YURP" is a Douglass classroom standard (or was---I'm retarded now), so is "SH'UP!"---I've had 45-year-old "kids" come up and regale me with similar examples of my earlier stooge-talk vocabulary wh/ I've (thankfully) forgotten! Relax---none of this is on the quiz.

BTW I've stolen, printed out and posted your PEERLESS "I'm king..." thingie. Thanks.

[Back in Black]

Is Oregon wild (feral) coastal boars...they get upwards of 600 lbs and are MEAN

Oregon fish and game, last I heard, will point the victim (er..hunter) to the best locale as they are horrid pests and destroy wild terrain.

Plan to use a tree stand and an automatic 12 GA shotgun with night vision, laser , & my handloaded saboted .662 round balls...they are said to floor such critters with one round if well-placed. Still not going on the ground till it stops moving ! And I will wear a Wildey .475 Survivor pistol for backup !

[Aussie Mike]

Pigs on the road aren't such a problem down here. It's the Kangaroos you have to watch out for. at night a whole mob of them can bounce accross in front of you. They are dumber than sheep too, once one goes a bunch or them will follow.

Some of them can be pretty big too. A large red male can be 6'6" standing on its hind legs and 120KG or more.

Kangaroos have been in plaque proportions on our roads lately. I think the only people happy about it are the panel shops.

The other varmints to watch out for on Aussie roads are the Wombats. These little fellas can weigh 40KG+ and are low to the ground and very solid. It's not uncommon to destroy the sump on your motor if you hit one of these.

Ferral Pigs are very smart, smarter than dogs some would say. A friend of mine Bow hunts regularly and he has a lot of tales of hunting them. he has learned a lot of respect for the wild pig.

Cheers

[Fred Douglass]

B-in-B,
Kedge back into my overly-long pig-story---can you explain the gun that Jace Standish had (a .30 over-under- LEVER-action Winchester"? I THINK I'm remembering it right---have never seen one since. Couldn't explain the loader/exraction action to save my life! Have you ever run across the likes? Maybe I'm misremembering the lever.

[Back in Black]

Don't know nuttin' 'bout that one, mate

However, new pics soon as the gallery upload feature is re-opened...the dark burgundy cherry pearl is AWESOME outside!

[Excaliber]

A Snake,

Every Cobra should have a glove box. Just big enough to hold two changes of under wear. One in case you "get on it" to early into or out of a corner, and the other for "varmints" on the road.
LOL

Ernie