Words Women Use

[Mrs 66 Snake]

Study. Learn. Absorb. Life will be much easier once you boys Get This.
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FINE
This is the word women use to end an argument when they feel they are right and you need to shut up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks - this will cause you to have one of those arguments.

FIVE MINUTES
This is half an hour. It is equivalent to the five minutes that your football game is going to last before you take out the trash, so it's an even trade.

NOTHING
This means "something," and you should be on your toes. "Nothing" is usually used to describe the feeling a woman has of wanting to turn you inside out, upside down, and backwards. "Nothing" usually signifies an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and end with "Fine"

GO AHEAD (With Raised Eyebrows! )
This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine"

GO AHEAD (Normal Eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don't care" You will get a "Raised Eyebrow Go Ahead" in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

LOUD SIGH
This is not actually a word, but is a nonverbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment, and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"

SOFT SIGH
Again, not a word, but a nonverbal statement. "Soft Sighs" mean that she is content. Your best bet is to not move or breathe, and she will stay content.

THAT'S OKAY
This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before paying you back for whatever it is that you have done. "That's Okay" is often used with the word "Fine" and in conjunction with a "Raised Eyebrow."

GO AHEAD!
At some point in the near future, you are going to be in some mighty big trouble.

PLEASE DO
This is not a statement, it is an offer. A woman is giving you the chance to come up with whatever excuse or reason you have for doing whatever it is that you have done. You have a fair chance with the truth, so be careful and you shouldn't get a "That's Okay"

THANKS
A woman is thanking you. Do not! faint. Just say you're welcome.

THANKS A LOT
This is much different from "Thanks." A woman will say, "Thanks A Lot" when she is really ticked off at you. It signifies that you have offended her in some callous way, and will be followed by the "Loud Sigh." Be careful not to ask what is wrong after the "Loud Sigh," as she will only tell you "Nothing"

[turnpike boy]

Herein confirming that which we males have long surmised but have not had confirmation of.

And now; waiting for "Fine" to appear.

[Excaliber]

It is indeed a mysterious world the fair sex lives in.

Ernie

[392cobra]

Now I understand how women cause so many misunderstandings.

[klayfish]

Fine. Thanks a lot. Go ahead. That's OK. Ruin my day in five minutes over nothing....loud sigh.

You've obviously met my wife too, huh?

Steve

[trularin]

Dang, I didn't know my wife had a sister.

FINE.

[jrussell]

Geez,
Give us Men some credit! We may be slow, but we do catch on after a while, for example;
I GUARANTEE we all know what " I have a headache" means, oh boy, do we ever!
See, I told 'ya, whoops I'm out of here just before I get a "FINE", closely followed by "NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL"
John Russell
quickly digging a hole & covering myself up!

[Doug I]

A tray, 2 pills. "Here you are honey"

"What are those for?"

"Your headache"

"I don't have a headache"
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[lewismc]

That is just an abbreviated version of the feminine translation handbook. Remember there are many different dialects so try not to get into trouble because of a misinterpretation.

If at anytime you get lost in the translation process (which occurs often) just tilt your head to the side and mimic that "dumb dog look" and go ?huh?


Good Luck,
Lew

[xlr8or]

Here's an easier way to explain it.

[lewismc]

Sometimes adjusting the tuning is a real fun event!

Lew

[Snakecharmer]

xlr8or,

Having been a studio engineer for many years, I now can safely say I've met my match. That's ONE piece of equipment that I'll NEVER be able to figure out!!! thanks for the great pic


Charmer

[trularin]

I am not going to turn any of my wife's knobs!!!

I haven't made it out of Hockey season yet.

[kountzecobra]

Sounds like y'all are having problems controlling your wimmen! Just don't give them permission to talk and your worries are over!

[mbishop]

Yea, right. You talk tough when she's not around.

Mark

[lewismc]

Don't we all in some manner or another. That's what makes it fun.

Lew

[Jack21]

Ahhhh, Forms of control!

It's called His needs, Her needs, and this is not how it's done. This is why we have so many "Ex's, in Texas", and everywhere else too. By this we should assume that you have already retained your divorce attorney, correct? Another statistic! And a few years from now, different face, same relationship, go do it again.

Excelor8tor, the bottom part of your photo is accurate, the top part is not. Rearrainge the top with the same number and type of controlls, but in different positions to reflect more accuracy in emotional prespective, and complexity.

We (Men & Women) don't work the same way, and forms of control (as listed above) will get you a ticket to ride every time.

I wish this was taught in High School, or at least as an undergraduate elective, Relationships 101, & 102.

Me? Jack21? Yeah, I'm a 61 year old veteran. Admittedly grossly of topic for this forum but since it started I'll add my $0.02. Veteran? Well, dysfunctional (abusive) family of origin, Vietnam Veteran (not that this makes any difference to the subject), 4th marriage (Ah, now we're getting somewhere), and a Cobra owner (actually, a co-owner with spouse #4).

After 3rd went South, went through about a year of psych analysis (what am I doing wrong?), and a 6 Month PAIRS (Practical Applications of Intimate Relationship Skills) Course (How do I get it right this time?) spouse #4 and I are getting it right.

I don't use forms of control on her (as I used to in previous elationships), and she no longer uses forms of control on me (I see right through them, and she stops). We're diffrent, and we respect that in each other.

Simple test of this difference. Open the hood of a Cobra, and the guys gather around to look at the engine. The women could care less. A woman with a newborn pulls back the blanket and all the women gather around to look. The guys could care less. That's nature. We're different, and there's nothing wrong with this.

Bottom line. You don't need this BS to communicate with each other. There are enough "Ex's in Texas"

If any of you want to go off line with this my e-mail is jwalsh21@ix.netcom.com.

[fordnut]

GUYS,

I can say anything I want to my wife as long as its: YES DEAR!.
It only took me 2 wives and 40 years to figure it out.

[kountzecobra]

I would never post anything in here that I wouldn't tell my wife. Luckily, she has a great sense of humor and gives as well as she gets!

[Doug I]

This'll get ya ... and Jay can verify she said this.

Last November at BPR ... she had as much fun as I did. She comes from a high horsepower background in cars. 1st was a Mustang Ghia, Dodge Demon and currently an XJS. Anyway she has been saying for a while that we should get a Cobra when the time is right (all being well this year) and after 2 days at NPR she is as enthusiastic as I am.

She said to everyone that that we should sell the house, the business, the Jag and buy a 'totter home', enclosed trailer and a Cobra. Then we could travel and go racing.

Jay asked how could I turn that offer down.